I HAVE RETURNED

I would say I have returned victorious, but I'm not sure what the victory would be or if I've even achieved it at all. I made some trail mix? Does that count? No? Darn.

Anyway, we kind of accidentally (by which I mean TOTALLY ON PURPOSE) went on a Thanksgiving break. But now I have returned rejuvinated and overfed (this is a problem I have) and I've got some newsy type things to communicate to my 8 regular readers. No one else will be excited, since this whole thing is new to them.

I am working on a new project. It is a secret project, but it is somewhat related to this blog. I am excited, though I am not at all sure when this project will become an actual thing. There are many bits a pieces to be worked out. The things I can tell you are that it will be on the internets, will be somewhat intimately but not entirely connected to this blog, and will provide joy and wonder (and possibly kittens) for everyone, not just my friends who want to read about how bad  GOOD I am at weight loss and healthiness. Anyway, that is all I can tell you for now, I will be telling you more things and possibly experimenting on you as time passes and I figure more things out.

IN OTHER NEWS: There is very little else to report. I did not do so great at getting all of the planned physical activity in, but I did do some. It has been coming out to about half to 3/4 the promised amount. Gonna try to be better this week as I am slightly less busy with holiday (for now...).

I have been struggling a bit with 1300 calories. I can blame it on half a dozen things (Thanksgiving, delicious foods being delicious, being bored, being cold etc etc), but the trouble is that I can't seem to shake it. Admittedly, by all standards, 1300 calories is not very much. I'm hoping that for the most part I am landing in the 1400 to 1500 range, and according to MFP, I am. But honestly, I don't trust MFP all that much.

I have a really bad habit when it comes to logging food and to some extent exercise on MFP: I lie. But I tell myself it isn't lying. I am merely adjusting for what seems like an exorbitant number of calories that must come from the fact that the thing I have chosen from the database is not EXACTLY what I ate. Other brands have more calories than my brand (or homemade thing). I have tried entering my own recipes, but the trouble with that is that I'm not big on measuring when I cook (I have earned my mother's jazz cooking stripes) and sure I can guess all I want, but when you ask me how many people it's supposed to feed? Hell if I know. And so I adjust, according to whatever I feel like the serving I ate was, calorically. I like to think that after a while of watching the number of calories in things I would know enough to be able to do that. But given the inconsistency of both my diet and how much I change whatever it is, it feels increasingly like lying about what I have eaten, and so I feel that my numbers at the end of the day are off by a billion calories and that I will never truly know how much I have eaten because I can't be honest with myself about it.

Yes. I can't be honest with myself about food. I have secret foods that never go on my diary, nearly every day. Usually they amount to maybe 200 calories worth, Today it was 4 hard candies and a serving of dried mango and a serving of walnuts. I had the mid afternoon munchies! What was I gonna do? I have already busted the food budget for today and dinner hasn't even come around yet. I don't have time for exercise this evening. DOOM. and so I leave them off, so I have some calories to work with... maybe.

Perhaps the best solution to this problem is to start logging the foods I eat BEFORE I eat them. Then, the guilt gets taken out constructively with me adjusting the actual amount of food I eat, rather than the digital amount I say I ate that may or may not be true. I will try this starting tomorrow (today is already a forgone conclusion).

I have not been very good of late with posting regularly and keeping tabs on my exercise progress and my monetary progress towards SHOES. (I still want them, they are so fuzzy and comfy looking). At last report I believe I was at $50. I have not been successful enough to reward myself for both weeks individually, but, since I have managed to keep up the exercising and not resorted to complete laziness, I will give myself 15 for both weeks combined. That's half the reward for half the effort that I needed to put in. My shoe fund is now at: $65.

This week will be better. I already did the workout yesterday and I'm planning on doing another tomorrow. Plans towards the end of the week become very fuzzy and very possibly busy so I may not get another workout in until Saturday afternoon. But, if all else does totally fail, SATURDAY AFTERNOON WILL BE SUCCESSFUL. (If I yell, I feel I will be more likely to actually do it, enthusiasm and all).

And so, that is THE PLAN. I will see you all next post, with possibly more or maybe less secrets.