Monday Funday

It's Monday again! Hello!

Thank you all for your support this last week. It has helped. I'm no longer emopants and I feel a lot better.

I did in fact set up an appointment with what Kaiser calls a Clinical Health Instructor who can talk to me about nutrition and exercise and such. My appointment is on Thursday. I just hope he doesn't say "You have to eat less cheese," because seriously, it's part of every meal, I don't know what I'd do.

Anyway, here's the roundup from last week:

Food

I think I may have cheated a little bit too much. I mean, I succeeded in calorie counts almost everyday, give or take 50 or so, and for the most part I ate healthy things. I don't think I can say that I ate "clean" though, which is the general goal. I think I need to look that up or have it defined for me, but I assume it means fresh lean everything and it's better if you make it yourself. My leniency towards cheese and ranch dressing probably don't fall under that category. Nor do the lazy restaurant meals. At least not the kind of restaurants I've been to. I'm already attempting to fix this though.

I bought a bucket of veggies yesterday. Ask Jon. He came home last night to a fridge with basically only veggies in it. And no lettuce. He looked at me like I was crazy and then made himself a spinach salad. I'm thinking I may need to go get some proteins for the week, probably mostly lean sausages and things that if they absolutely must can sit in the fridge for a little bit. I also need to simultaneously relax and tighten up on finances. I think it's mostly a matter of tightening the eating-out budget and losening the grocery budget. I'm working on finding some balance there.

Exercise

I kicked ass last week. Seriously. I did exercise almost every freaking day. Mostly it was playing damage control against my calorie counts. I mostly did POP Pilates, and I have discovered a couple of her routines that I really like and can do most of with some mild alteration. They also focus on toning some of the biggest problem areas for me so if I keep it up, I'll actually start to see a real difference. For some extra cardio I've been trying to do jumping jacks, though being on the second floor they make me nervous about disturbing my neighbors. I think I may switch to some WiiFit cardio this week.

I have been using My Fitness Pal. You should too! I'm midna07, if you'd like to friend me.

Motivation

Gosh, after all that work last week you'd think I'd be seeing a difference on the scale, but no. No change. I have also realized that I absolutely must weigh myself after 14 hours or more of no food, otherwise I am not at my bottom weight. The only time I go that long without eating is Friday evening to Saturday afternoon. So, Saturday midday before I eat is my weigh in time. No change this past Saturday. Maybe the veggie heavy week this week will help.

So, motivation wise I'm a bit grumpy at my scale for not showing me some progress, but I have some faith in other sorts of progress. I did a waist and hips measurement, and I think, though I didn't specifically record last time so I can't be totally sure, that I have lost some inches on both. It's not a lot, but it is a minor victory. Hopefully I will see more of that this weekend.

Otherwise, motivation sort of just is. I'm sort of kicking my own butt out of bed in the morning, which is better. I made a canvas to provide some motivation (it says "It's a good day to have a good day" in happy yellow letters on blue), and I may change my alarm name to something silly like "If Frodo can get the ring to Mt. Doom, you can get your ass out of bed."

I think I'll be ok, since I want this change so badly and I know the only way I can get it. It's better when I don't have all the horribleness in my face, but I guess whenever I start getting upset about it the best option is to do a workout.

Also, I need some ice cream substitutions. Because I'm seriously missing Ben and Jerry's.

I will probably post again on Thursday or Friday and give a recap of what the nutritionist guy says.

See you all then.

Monday Update

Hi guys, just the usual monday update today. 

Food:

Is okay? I guess I did well last week, I managed breakfast all but one morning. Having the toaster has certainly helped with that. 

Regarding the vegetarianism post and your responses: The resounding answer was "no, going vegetarian will not make weight loss easier, it will make no difference whatsoever" if anything it might add hardship. So I have opted not to do that, obviously, though I have been eating a bit like a vegetarian the past couple days anyway. 

Mostly I think it's a matter of forcing self control and really only eating when I'm hungry. This is a billion times more difficult than it sounds, especially because I have emotional eating habits. On the bright side, I have learned to quell the emotional eats with healthy things like yogurt and dried fruit, rather than cookies (not that I have any cookies in the house to begin with). So that's good.

Exercise:

I can't remember if I did in fact do wii fit early last week. I'm thinking that I did, but I don't remember. With the end of the Olympics, I have nothing to watch on TV so the methodology has had to change again. I did YouTube fitness videos twice later in the week. Once on Thursday, and again on Saturday. Both videos pretty much kicked my ass, but I did what I could of both of them, and it still took about half an hour each. That's a lot of calorie burn there. For effort, I will give myself the benefit of the doubt  and say I did my 90 minutes a week last week and therefore earned the 10 dollars. That puts me at $20. 

Motivation:

I had a bit of a breakdown this weekend, honestly. I'm unsure as to what exactly brought it on. I've actually been down all weekend for unknown reasons. It's very weird. I don't like it, but I also don't know how to fix it.

I do want to lose the weight desperately. I feel heavy and gross and I think the reason I don't feel well and that I am getting what I have decided is heat rashes, is because of my weight. This drives me nuts. There is nothing else in the world that makes me more upset than this idea. For something so guiltless, accidental and easy (the gain) to become so much of a difficult, self-punishing responsibility is just endlessly unfair. And I'm only 50lbs overweight! I can't imagine what people are suffering at 100 or 200 lbs over. 

Having the reality of the health issues pop up makes me feel extremely powerless. Even if my numbers are (finally) going down, I still feel like it's not enough, and that there is so much reliance on my own responsibility and restraint that I will never make it as far as I want to. I'm scared of what will happen when I inevitably falter or give up, or decide that "enh, I can have this cake" too many times. I don't trust myself. [In reality, I don't trust myself at pretty much anything, but that's another discussion]. I'm thinking that it is time I got some professional help. Someone who will tell me "You have to do this" and not let it be a choice. I need to be under doctor's orders, because those I will listen to. If I make the order myself, or someone without that authority makes that order, the order doesn't have legitimacy and can be avoided. Yes. I need orders, because I don't trust myself to just do it. If I make the rules, I can bend them. If someone else makes them and enforces them, then I can't bend them, because I'm accountable to someone else. I would rather do this with a medical professional, because I know they will help me fix it and keep it.  So I need to get a nutritionist/ weight-loss counsellor. I will work on this this week. 

Goals:

Stop being so emopants, 90 minutes of exercise, work on portion control and healthiness of food (untracked). 

Vegetarian?

This blog post is here to pose a question, and ask for opinions.

Should I go vegetarian? 

Would it help me lose weight? Will it make any difference at all?

With this, I would like to add several caveats/ things to keep in mind

1) I do like meat, and I will probably still be cooking it and probably still have it occasionally. There is no way I am going to ask Jon to do this with me (nor will he choose to, I don't think), so the meat will still be around. I know I will just give in and have some sometimes, and of course special occasions are entirely off the books. The question here is not so much about strict vegetarianism, but a distinct effort to limit the meat in my diet. 

2) I am well aware that going vegan is an amazing way to lose weight and just generally eat better, but for reasons previously mentioned on this blog (ie, my love of cheese), I simply can't do it. I'm going for vegetarianism as a sort of halfway point that will still give me some benefits, without taking away the things that I love. 

3) Part of the reason I am contemplating this is because I want to be able to make the cheaper starches (pasta, bread, rice) a reasonable part of my diet without feeling guilty for eating them. If I'm vegetarian, there's all those meat calories to make up for, and therefore the carbs aren't so bad. Especially if I combine properly to make complete proteins out of them (red beans and rice ALL THE TIME). I think this will also help me to consider meals consisting of mostly veggies and starches to be complete meals, rather than them missing something.

4) I actually really like most meat substitutes. I like tofu, tempeh and portobello mushrooms, though I would like to try to stay away from soy as the estrogen is bad news for weight loss. Plus, I have been dying to try some freezer meal marinades, and I think those will take to them well. Also, those are cheaper than meat... right?

5) As mentioned in #2, I will still eat cheese. Lately it has mostly been goat cheese, parmesan (the kraft stuff, awful, I know but cheaper) and the occasional aged white cheddar binge. I don't drink milk regularly (makes me break out) and I've already moved to almond milk (or soy when I must). I could definitely do to eat more eggs generally, I don't usually have time in the morning. I'm still on the fence about seafood? 

So, thoughts on this? My concern is that because it is only a halfway point it won't be effective at all, but I'm really trying to find a way to lose weight that isn't an unsustainable diet that I will just balloon out of the second I drop it. Exercise will continue, obviously, but I need to get the food part right too.

In other news, I'm itchy AGAIN / still? Taking the antihistamines helps, but towards the end of the day they wear off and the itch returns. Lotions help somewhat as well. Still. BLERG WHY??!

Anyway, more on Monday. 

Sore Everywhere

I hurt in all the muscles, and some non-muscle places. I'm thinking that pretty much definitely means I succeeded this week, even if becoming sore was all I did.

Here's a recap.

Exercise:

Monday I did wii fit free step, Tuesday I did arms, Wednesday I was lazy. Thursday I did a lot of extra walking downtown, Friday I did wii fit again. Saturday I did a lot of stretching and yoga, Sunday I went bouldering/ did some cardio on an eliptical machine.

It being Monday again, the most recent damage is yesterday's attempt to climb things. My arms are kind of in the process of yelling "WTF!" at me. I'm not very good at climbing, being subconciously terrified of falling and lacking the strength in my arms to actually successfully climb past a certain point (because I am nervous I will drop myself should I slip). So, the climbing that I did do was super strenuous for my arms (and somewhat my legs). So. Ow. But the good sort.

Food:
Ugh. I almost don't want to discuss it. Last week was pretty bad. This weekend too. I mean, a lot of the exercise made up for it some. Part of the problem was that we were out of groceries. Yesterday was somewhat better because I was scrounging and a lot of what we had left could be construed as low calorie/ healthy, and then once I went shopping I ate like half a celery head. I have noted that I do mostly "shop the rim" now unless I'm going in for something specific (like Worcestershire sauce), pasta, or frozen things. I know pasta is kind of bad, but it's cheap (though my grocery bill doesn't scream that) and really really easy. The idea here is really to keep Jon and I from eating out/ ordering in. We've gotten a whole lot better about it, but it's still a work in progress. Admittedly that is more of a financial move than a health move, but one step at a time. I should also note that the pasta I buy is Eating Right Veggie Pasta (Rotini), it's really good and gives you a full serving of vegetables. I also buy frozen meals because they keep, they're easy and otherwise Jon and I wouldn't eat all that much protein. I buy fresh meats too (as well as have a constant supply of frozen chicken) but if I don't limit them to one or two per shopping trip, we don't eat them before they've spoiled and that's a horrible waste of funds.  So, last week was filled with burritos and ice cream, but this week will be better. Meal plans include bratwurst, steak and goat cheese wraps, celery salads, pasta and  shrimp stir-fry.

Also, I have vowed not to spend any money either today or tomorrow, and that includes lunch, so I'll have to make do with my lean cuisines.

Motivation:

The Olympics have ended, which is very sad. There's 500 something days until Sochi. (which reminds me more of dessert than Russia). I hope by the time those 500 days are up I will have lost all the college weight and kept it off. I also want to be fit, but I'm hoping that's more a biproduct. So, unless I can find a channel actually showing the Paralympics on cable, the televisual motivation has ended. What next? Well there are still some lasting effects (I hope) from the Olympics in that while I don't think I'll ever make it to Olympic level fitness, I do have a place to aim for. I can look at an Olympian and say, okay, what parts of that can fit on me, and how do I get there? Right now, I'm working on my arms. I've always felt that my arms were the first place to react when I exercised them, particularly with swimming, but other things too. My theory is that if I can tone my arms first, they will serve as motivation for the rest of my trouble spots. Plus out of all the places to be really sore, arms aren't so bad. I'm still keeping up with the basics of course, walking of some variety and other such things to keep the rest of my body on the right course, but without the specific focus.
So, I'd say I'm pretty motivated.

In terms of last week, at the behest of several readers I have given myself the $10. That put me at $60. and then I hands down earned another 10 this week for $70.

On Saturday, because I had time and I wanted to, I took a trip to the Nike outlet that's close to my apartment. I finally bought that new pair of walking shoes (they are in fact, labeled as such) and I got a dryfit shirt so I won't get quite as sweaty and gross. I wore both yesterday and they worked out great! Overall I spent 60 dollars on them both, ( + tax, but I don't think that should be out of my exercise funds). A pretty good deal, especially on the shirt which was originally 40 something (it cost me 10). It was written down so much because it's an event tee with a name on the back. It's for the Olympic trials funnily enough, though it has "Decker" on the back, I think for Mary Decker who was a long distance runner in the 70's and 80's. Anyway, these expenditures bring my funds back down to $10. Now to build up to something else cool or useful.

Oh, also, I finally bought a toaster. Yay toast!

Questionable Success

It's Monday, and you all know what that means: update post!

As the title of this entry suggests, I am unsure as to whether what I did last week qualifies for a reward or not. I'm sort of asking for some reader participation here. You tell me if I earned it (and if I didn't tell me so! I'll try harder next time).

First, a little review. I spent pretty much all of last week being itchy (I'm still a little itchy now, but less). My skin became extremely irritated by something and went into super allergic reaction hyper panic mode. I didn't get hives, per say, but I did itch everywhere on my arms and legs, and I became especially concerned when it looked like I had been attacked by hordes of tiny mosquitos. So I went to the doctor. They told me to take it easy and apply steroid creme (plus take a massive dose of antihistamines). When the first round of relatively mild stuff didn't work, I went in again and came back with big guns (the same category of stuff, just more and better). They seem to have worked, though my skin is still hyper reactionary. I so much as poke myself and I get a red mark.

I was also told to try to keep myself cool, because heat would make the rash and the itching worse, so exercise of the extreme variety was pretty much ruled out for most of the week. Things finally came under control on Friday, when I did do half an hour of Wii Fit Free Step while watching the Olympics. I ended with something like 2600 steps on and off the Wii Balance Board. I hope to do this again this evening.

In terms of other exercise, I also did do at least one set (usually more) of bicep pulls and tricep lifts with the resistance bands everyday. Some days I did more than others. I'd say over the course of the week I probably pulled on the resistance bands about 250 times in various positions. We had friends over a lot and they can testify to the fact that I was using them all week.

Food... well. I didn't do any cliff jumping, but I don't know how well or poorly I did in terms of caloric intake. Some days I was just hungry. But I did really try not to over eat. Doesn't say whether I was successful or not. I didn't weigh myself either, so I have basically no idea on this front other than I was trying to be conscious of it without actually number crunching. I suppose we'll find out when I next weigh myself.

Lastly my motivation. Being itchy and uncomfortable does take a lot of wind out of the sails, as does being overly social (which happened too, whew need some space this week). But nearly all of this is made up for with Olympics. I really wish I had that kind of devotion to one thing. Unfortunately, all of my one things are forced out by a myriad of other one things... combined with life things and work which are both entirely (or at least mostly) unrelated. I imagine that maybe if I had all the time in the world, I would find a one thing that I could and would spend hours and hours doing every day.

I bet it would be on the internet. I bet it would involve art, music, writing and extreme nerdery. I'm betting it would be pretty cool. Now if only I had the time to dream it up and be devoted enough to take it seriously.

Anyway, my musings on how things would be if I ruled the world are irrelevant. I need to know for accounting purposes: My goal was, essentially "mild to strenous exercise for 20-30 minutes 3 times a week" which is what I told my doctor I do. Do the constant resistance band training sessions count? You decide!

I'll determine next week, based on comments, what happens with the floating $10 that I maybe get. The account stands at $40.

This weeks goal is the same. Reward also the same.
{For those that care, new Sample Society post this week sometime, the box will arrive tomorrow probably}