Post Appointment Check in ( + Muffins!)

A couple important things came to light this weekend, through my appointment and some other adventures.

First, according to the scale at the doctor's, I've actually gained weight. It's only about 3 lbs, but still a net gain. For obvious reasons, this is EXTREMELY frustrating and upsetting for me. Just thinking about it brings angry tears up.

My counselor is really just that, a counselor, so we talked about my emotions and feelings about weight and why it matters to me so much. There's really quite a few things that make it matter, but a lot of what it comes down to is freedom. I want the freedom to be who I am and choose whatever the hell I want. My weight limits me, my lack fo fitness limits me. There are other factors in my life right now that also limit me, but they aren't really relevant here. The trouble is mostly that I feel trapped by my weight AND the effort to fix it. I want to get to a place where I don't have to work so hard, because I am no longer trying to change. Of course, my counselor tried to, somewhat weakly, lead me to decide that I don't really want to do all of this, because who I am right now is fine. But, like everyone who has gained weight, it is not so much that I want to change who I am now. It's that I want my body to be the way it was, because I wasn't always like this and the way it WAS was better. So, that's the goal, you know, undoing college. 

.... Yes I finally used the blog title in an entry.

With all of that in mind, I needed to go clothes shopping this weekend, and I did go. Now, generally speaking, I consider myself to be a normal size. There are plenty of people much more overweight looking than me, and more people who look to be around my size than there are super skinny girls. One would HOPE that this would appear in clothing store sizes. WRONG. Nearly the second I walk into a clothing store and have to choose a large, or even search for an extra large (which some stores don't even have *cough* forever 21 *cough*) I don't feel normal sized. I feel abnormal, different and wrong, because I'm not a medium (though it looks like most of the things on the shelves are smalls), and even most larges look too small on me. I went to Old Navy, and I am 90% sure that they changed their  pants sizing to make everything smaller.  According to my numbers (my hips measure about 40") I should be a 12 by most standards. At Old Navy, I have to wear a 16 to be even remotely comfortable. That's TWO sizes up. Thanks Old Navy, for making me feel super fat, abnormal and undesirable. Super great job for not caring about a woman's self esteem in her clothes.

I think clothing stores should be conscious of how their sizing affects the way a woman feels about herself. Make things reasonably sized for the majority of the population. A medium really should be the middle of the road, average. A 10 should be the same across the board, standardized at certain measurements, not like at Old Navy, where a 10 is an 8.

Anyway, back to my appointment, towards the end we spoke about next steps. I have a handle on exercise, in that I know I have to do it, I have a plan and it is fun for me. I also have a handle on logging what I eat and keeping track. It's clear that 1540 calories is still too many for my metabolism, since I've been eating at hat since August with no results, so we have lowered my net calorie intake to 1300. Net meaning that I can eat back calories used in exercise. I asked him specifically if he thought it might at all be what I'm eating, and he said that calories are really more important. There are things that are more healthy generally speaking, but it isn't critical that I avoid certain foods or even limit anything specifically. As long as I try to eat balanced meals and not all fat and sugar, it doesn't matter exactly what I eat. I could have pizza for every meal, as long as it was under 1300 calories worth, and it wouldn't make much of a difference in terms of weight loss. It's all numbers, the nutrients are irrelevant. So, 1300 calories is the rule.

I think the 1300 calories rule will change a bit of how I eat though, because I do actually have to make an effort to monitor how many calories I take in. 1540 was really easy for me to stay under because generally speaking, that's about as much as I eat. At 1300, I will actually be eating less. I'll have to stick to 400 calories a meal and be careful about the carry over. Combined with my exercise plan I'll be able to eat a little more, but it won't be as flexible as it was. But that's okay! I just want some results. This is really frustrating! Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have some good news.

I know I've said already the plan for the week, exercise wise, but here it is again anyway:
MWThSat: Blogilates. Maybe with someone? We shall see.

In other news, I just made some awesome muffins!

Mix some sugar free cake mix with a 15oz can of pumpkin, divide batter and bake at 350 for 20-25 mins. EAT. They're delicious!!

Revised Week (and next weeks plan)

Upon applying my actual life to the previously planned extreme exercise week, here is the revised plan through Monday, and what I actually did. If I manage it all, money prize (I'm at $50 now).

Monday: I did manage to do blogilates in the morning, take a shower and carry on with my day. Monday was pretty good. Unfortunately, I forgot that my body and 6 am have never ever gotten along, and I did not prepare by going to bed earlier, thus, I screwed up a lot of my sleep for the week, making it so...

Tuesday: I was supposed to originally do exercise in the morning again, but I was just way too tired to get up. So I slept in a bit instead and then went to vote and then went to work. I like having long pre-work mornings, but I also like sleeping... so blogilates didn't happen on Tuesday. (Tuesday night was of course spent staring at the Election. Yay Obama, btw).

Wednesday: Originally this was to be dance day, but it really is WAY too dark for me to be comfortable even walking to dance. My purchases are good for 90 days, I'll have to do the math, but I'm hoping I'll be able to go to a couple classes with friends when they are home over the holidays (*cough* Jen *cough*) and walking will be totally fine if I'm with someone. Instead, I did the full blogilates workout in the evening. It's still an hour of about the same kind of activity, so it works out about the same.

Thursday: As I was thinking I would after I failed on Tuesday to exercise, I made a point of doing the workout last night, because while I would do MWF, my fridays are unreliable, and saying MWTh is something thats more likely to happen. I'm trying to make this easy for myself. 

From here out: 

Friday: I don't have plans tonight and Jon probably does, so I am planning on getting a workout in (provided nothing changes). If something changes, then that's okay too. I know I will have plans either Friday or Saturday (shouldn't be both) so whichever day I do not have plans or I have an extended amount of free time by myself, I will do the blogilates set for that day. 

Sunday is the day off on the calendar (plus I have chores to do)

Monday: recycle last week. If I can't do the morning, I will do the evening routine.

This week I sort of came up with a routine, I'm wondering if I will be able to stick with it (as you've seen, me and routines don't really get along for whatever reason). When I get home from work, I clean up the living room and clear space for my workout. Then I change, and do the first couple videos. Then I stop and feed the cat (I've been doing some trainings with him, so it takes a minute). Then I do the rest of the videos, take a shower (or don't, depending on my mood) and go pick up Jon. The rest of the evening changes, but I go to bed around 11, take my multivitamin and snooze for ~8 hours. I've been waking up feeling pretty good.

The plan is basically to do whatever videos are on the blogilates calendar every day that I have nothing better to do except Sundays, which are rest days. I'm pretty sure that if I keep this up for a few more weeks, I'll see some change. 

I have my appointment with Tim this afternoon. I may post again after I talk to him. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure what he'll say... partly because I'm not entirely sure what the scale will say. 

More later, and as always, thanks for reading!!!

Blogilates

Hi everyone!

Sorry this blog is so late... I sort of fell off the diet and exercise wagon for a week and a half. I'm  in the process of getting back on it.

The reason for the motivation flop is well... the usual complete lack of results (seriously, NO CHANGE). On the somewhat bright side I do have an appointment with my counselor this week, so hopefully he'll be able to help me sort it out.

I have also reached the point where the dance classes aren't easy, because walking through the Mission after dark is not going to be very fun. Last time I went to class (err...before Hawaii) I made a friend who might be able to walk with me, but it's still a bit scary. I am planning on going tomorrow, and I do have 3 more classes purchased, so I'm GOING TO (I originally wrote that I probably would) go on Wednesdays for the next couple weeks. Maybe it will be okay walking through the sketchy neighborhood after dark, and I'll buy more classes and keep going (it is fun, and once a week sounds reasonably do-able).

Barring that (and in addition for the next few weeks) I am going to follow the Blogilates exercise calendar! I did yesterdays exercises, and they totally kicked my ass, but they were still fun (for exercise) and I felt super achieved afterwards. I am going to do the exercises listed everyday (when I don't go to dance, so not on Wednesdays). I'm going to try to do it in the mornings, because you know, sleepy brain doesn't know what's happening.

So here's the breakdown for this week. I know it sounds like a lot, but I'm thinking challenging myself might  will work out for the best.

Monday: Blogilates (AM)
Tuesday: Blogilates (AM)
Wednesday: Dance Class (PM)
Thursday: Blogilates (AM)
Friday: Blogilates (AM)
Saturday: Blogilates (Afternoon)

My appointment with the counselor is on Friday.

Hoping to get the day off Tuesday for Election Day. Don't forget to vote!!!!

Oh and, happy 50th post!

Third Presidential Debatercize

I know I missed the middle two debates ( I arrived in Hawaii the night of the VP, and left the night of the 2nd Presidential) but here is the game for the 3rd debate, on foreign policy. This game is compiled from various drinking games around the web. The intention is that it is meant to be played for 20 minutes at any point during the debate. You can start at the beginning, in the middle, or do the last 20. It's designed to keep you moving, but not stack up so much that you have to omit things (my first game had this problem). SO here we go:

5 jumping jacks when YOUR candidate says any of the following:
Terrorism
"Dependence on Foreign Oil"
Osama Bin Laden
"In Harms Way"
Troops/ American Soldiers
The Rose Garden
Ambassador Stevens
References Foxconn or Chinese factories making Apple products
Commander in Chief

10 push ups for the mention of the following countries:
Iran
China
Israel
Palestine
Russia

5 squats for the mention of the following countries:
Afghanistan
Libya
Egypt
Syria
Greece
Iraq
Either Korea

1 10 sec plank per instance of interruptions

5 lunges for an obvious lie or position change

5 jumping jacks for a zinger

** Since it is sometimes hard to remember what things are under what category during play, when in doubt, do 5 more of what you just did.

Island Time

First, I'd like to apologize for the tardiness of this post. There was simply too much going on this week for me to have a moment to get to writing this until now. But anyway, here it is now.

Hawaii was amazing and a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time in the water and a lot of time walking. Waikiki is a big place, and the best beaches were a bit far from my Dad's apartment. So, we did a lot of walking and a lot of swimming. We did manage to go snorkeling and boogie boarding. We saw turtles and baby fish. I even saw a humuhumunukunukuapua'a (Hawaii's state fish), though I suppose to most the turtles are more exciting. Pictures are still forthcoming (my dad returned the underwater camera, so he has them) but I do have one of the turtle photos:

If you'd like to see a breakdown of how much exercise I got, I will point you to myfitnesspal (Midna07), as I recorded it all there.

As of my last weigh in, nothing has changed, but that could have been any number of factors, as my usual weigh in time is somewhat difficult to replicate exactly. My measurements are all down though, which is good and in the end the more important number. I care more about my shape than I care about the number on the scale, in the end.

Since returning Tuesday night I have not done much exercise this week (tbh I feel kind of gross), so I might try to get some Wii Fit or mild cardio in tonight or tomorrow. I've also definitely had my last alcoholic beverage for a little while, I've done a lot of drinking (not binge drinking, just one or two a night) since we left for HI, so now that we're back and resettled, it's time to stop. It was good, but the calories are unnecessary now. It's also been a little bit of a continuing party week since one of Jon's friends from Davis has been visiting. Tonight is his last night here so things should settle.

Sugar has also been something I've consumed too much of, but I've been finding that a little harder to cut down on. I have switched to the lighter calorie Cool Lime Refresher at Starbucks, but unfortunately it still brings me above the limit myfitnesspal has set for me when combined with my regular diet (things like tomato sauce and fruits). I also like the refreshers a whole lot more than coffee, so switching to the available stuff at work is out of the question. I'm not entirely sure I can drop the caffeine at this point, but I will attempt to work on generally getting more sleep so that they become less necessary.

We will return to regularly scheduled updates with the 3 categories next week, but for now, here's the roundup of success last week and goals for next week. Because of Hawaii and the spanning over 2 weeks, this week is combined with last week regarding goals and success, so I only get $15, not $30, as I did not properly set goals for this week.

Oct 8 -20:
Goals were: go to dance class on the 8th and exercise in HI
Success: Super success! $15 to shoes! (balance now $50)

Oct 21- 27:
Goals: Presidential Debatercize for 20 minutes (New game setup forthcoming) on Monday, Dance class on Wednesday, (additional walk = additional $5)
Success means $15 more towards shoes!

In short, Hawaii was great, my diet is currently a mess but I'm working on it, and I was successful last week.

[There will be another post coming shortly, tonight or tomorrow, with the details for Debatercize Monday night]

Hawaii Here We Come!

Before we get into the discussion of how freaking excited I am for my upcoming tropical vacation, I need to talk about last week.

So, the original plan for last week was to go to dance on Monday and Wednesday. When I made that plan, I was for some reason thinking the Presidential Debate was on Thursday. Of course, it was actually on Wednesday and directly conflicted with dance class. So that's why I made the last post (which has been of great entertainment to many).

Now, I did actually do it for the first 15 minutes of the debate, with Jon helping me out telling me what I should do when. The requirements certainly stacked up. I ended up dropping certain words or elements because there were just too many. For example I only did 5 jumping jacks after a while because by the time I did 10, there were 3 more things I had to do and it was difficult to keep track of. For the next debate I'll make the lists shorter. It did certainly get my heart rate up and it was actually a lot of fun. The only reason I stopped when I did was because I got drawn in. I stopped at about the point Mittens started changing his entire position, and it became important that I switch to tweeting my outrage (you can go back and read it if you'd like, my twitter is linked above). 

I am going to give myself the $15 for last week, with the caveat that I absolutely must do it again for the next Presidential Debate, and maybe structure it a bit better. Since I will be in Hawaii for the VP debate this week, I've already decided that it's a drinking game (for various reasons, some possibly celebratory, some possibly to make it hurt less, it really depends how it goes!). It should be pretty ridiculous. Plus, maybe my Dad will play!

My current shoes-balance is $35. $55 to go!

Ok, time to discuss Hawaii and what that means for my exercise. Good things mostly! That's one thing about vacation (or at least my vacations), you get out more and you just naturally do a lot more moving! Getting the exercise in really isn't an issue. 

Since we are not leaving until Thursday, I still have to go to dance class today (Monday). No big, I think I actually have the once-a-week dance down. Twice a week is being pesky though. I will not be able to go on Wednesday because I will be busy packing and prepping the apartment for the exterminators who will be coming through the building while we're gone. Their timing is somewhat convenient but also inconvenient since it adds extra work just before and right after our vacation, but at least our apartment will remain roach-free. Other people in our building have reported them. Jon thinks he may have seen one once, but I haven't ever, and I'd like it to remain that way. Anyway, exterminators and extra work aside, no time for dance on Wednesday.

But never fear! We are going to Hawaii and we are going to be a block from the beach and the ocean. Swimming is a thing I am going to be doing a lot of. Boogie boards are packed and ready, and I am so excited to hit the surf. I'm somewhat worried that my pale skin will burn forever, and I do not expect to get out of this vaca completely unscarred, but I am going to try to help it as much as I can. Tonight I'm planning on making friends with some self-tanner lotion. Also, thank goodness I have been living in California for a year and have at least a little color. My Oregonian pale from college is gone, not to say I'm still anything but a baluga, but I do perhaps have some natural defense from the cruel day star. Also sunscreen. So much sunscreen. 3 different types of sunscreen. Yep.

So this weeks requirements are simply that I go to class tonight and that I get my ass in the water sooner than Sunday. I think I can manage that :)

I'm not bringing my own laptop, so I do not expect to be writing a new blog entry until NEXT Wednesday after we return. It may even be as long as next Thursday before I get around to it. So, I will see you all then!

The Debate Exercising Game

Normally I don't like to bring politics up on this blog, but they are a pretty big part of my life. I care a lot about the policy decisions being made in Washington, and I an very excited to vote this November. In that spirit, I have come up with the following.

The first Presidential debate is tonight (9 eastern, on every news channel and streaming on the internet). Unfortunately it coincides with what would normally be my dance class time. So, because I would like to watch the debate live, I can't go to dance. Bummer! It's alright though, I have a solution.I make it a game.

Imagine a drinking game and a TV show. Every time some specific meme or theme is mentioned in the show, you drink. This will be exactly like that, but with exercises. Here's the breakdown:

[This debate is limited to Domestic Policy, so all keywords etc are domestic policy related]

*Starred items indicate time override. If one of these things happens, whatever other exercise has to be stopped and replaced with this. Any additional exercises incurred during the starred exercise are ignored.

Key words - 10 jumping jacks per mention

• Workers
• Average american household/ family
• Healthcare
• Jobs (5 per, since it will come up a lot)
• Taxes
• Military (veterans included)
• "Government spending spree" 
• Massachusetts
• seniors
• young people
• small businesses
• entrepreneurs
• private sector
• millionaire
• billionaire
• Reagan

*Big Concepts - 25 lunges per invocation

• The American Dream
• Obamacare
• Romneycare
• Medicare
• 47 percent
• Math
• Education

*Unexpected, but possible, Big things - jog in place during their discussion, the whole time

• Women's issues (covers abortion, contraceptives, PP etc.)
• Marriage equality
• Citizens United
• The 99% (or the 1%)
• Climate change
• Immigration
• Net neutrality

Romney gaffe - 25 high knees
Obama gaffe - 60 count plank

Romney "zinger" - 60 count plank
Obama "zinger" - 25 high knees

Obama interrupts Romney - Run in a circle left
Romney interrupts Obama - Run in a circle right

*Enthusiastic cheers or boos from the audience - reaches for the duration

Statistics/ Numbers -
in the millions- 5 crunches
in the billions- 10 crunches
percentage - 10 lunges

5 Push ups if:
Either candidate addresses his opponent in the 3rd person
Compliments opponents personal life or family
ignores a question by addressing the audience
argues with the moderator

Obama says:
Let me be clear - 10 reaches
References Bain - 5 lunges
Blames Bush - 10 jumping jacks

Romney says:
Plan to create 12 million jobs - 12 crunches

*Anyone goes over time - plank from when their time ends until they actually stop


I have no idea how I'm going to log this, but I'm pretty stoked to try it out!