Interesting...

I found this in my internet escapades today:

The Londoner: The Anti-Diet

I think I will make use of her hunger scale, and her physical hunger v. emotional hunger graphic. I think I'll even post them at my desk at work (which is where I make my worst food decisions, usually involving goldfish and candy).

I also like her 80/20 plan, which is similar to my on diet, not on diet division, only for her its just generally eating healthy. My problem is that I do generally eat healthy. Most of the things in my diet for meals are wholesome. My problem is that my body grabs carbs and sugar and holds onto them for dear life. So for me, eating healthy 80% of the time is avoiding white bread, tortillas and any and all sugar. The other 20% of the time all bets are off.

I meant to start my "eating on diet" plan from my last post this week, but due to extreme laziness, I still have not been to the grocery store. No grocery store= no cooking = not diet food for the most part. We have to go tonight, so my eating habits will get a bit better instantaneously.

I still do not have numbers. I am still afraid of the scale and feeling too big in my clothes to address that fear. Perhaps I will address it tomorrow morning, after I have not eaten for 12 hours and have done Yoga twice.

I did some Yoga last night. It was sort of wimpy. Does anyone know of a good youtube channel for short yoga lessons? I'm going to do some hunting. If I find anything I will post it here.

In other news, if one is in need of a good, relatively inexpensive yoga mat I bought one at Target last week and used it last night. It was $20 ish and it works better at slip-prevention than most other yoga mats I have used. Highly recommended. The brand is embark.

Figuring it out

As you all know from my last post (which you should all go read, since I failed to post it to facebook), I have stopped dieting. However, I have decided that this is only temporary.

I have been eating however I like for the past 2 weeks and it has been liberating. I have not been overly concerned with the sugar or carbohydrates in my food, though I have tried to be a bit cautious in the overall weekly content. That is, I can eat whatever I want, but I need to be careful about patterns of that.

So this is my new plan. It's similar to the old one, only it allows me a bit more freedom and won't make me paranoid.  (Keep in mind that I am working this out as I type, and all of it is subject to adjustment and change)

I get one cheat meal a day, but these cheat meals must be low on the caloric scale. No pigging out on french fries and chocolate shakes, or huge plates of pasta with cake after. None of that. (Not that I have been doing that, but I must expressly forbid it regardless.)

So, for example. I have already had my cheat meal today. It was breakfast (this will only happen when we are out of protein shakes) and it was granola and milk. Delicious, generally healthy, low calorie count but NOT diet. I didn't have to worry or be hungry or feel guilty because I didn't go to the grocery store yesterday. All is well, I just can't eat another cheatsy meal today. 

I guess what I'm doing here is combining the glycemic/ low carb  of the South Beach and 4-Hour body plans with the limited calories/ points of Weight Watchers. We'll see how it goes.

I haven't weighed myself since my last post here. I'm a bit scared to, honestly, but I will soon. 

I'm also working on doing Yoga a couple nights a week. Not a class, just me doing Yoga. We'll see what happens. 

More later. 

Update

Here have some numbers that have not changed even a little. 

The Numbers:

W: 181.6

TI: 151

Yeps. I took the weekend off because I'm frustrated and disheartened etc. I'm that way about a lot of things right now. I need some real motivation. Tangible goals. My original goal with all of this was for Burning Man, but I don't have a ticket and it's unlikely that I will obtain one. So that's out. I can't think of anything else that I care about my weight enough for. I mean, I care, but I also really don't. It's not life threatening (40lbs is sort of a normal number) and as long as I don't eat pasta everyday and keep eating the kind of things I have been it will maintain itself. Maybe even go down. I am tired of seriously monitoring what I eat for no results. I've been resultless for a month now. I will do my best to eat right (pasta and bread are still generally out and I won't buy them), but I don't think I can keep up a real diet anymore. 

This blog..well I'll keep posting I guess. I have a few recipe posts still to go up and I should keep monitoring my weight (lest it go back up again). So. I'll still post weekly with numbers and maybe some things I ate or something. 

I just cant do it for real anymore when I don't have a reason other than being less squishy. 

A brief update

So last week went rather... meh. I'm not sure what changes have occurred since I havent had the chance to measure properly. We had a busy weekend away from home. That seems to be happening a lot lately. Things should calm down this coming weekend though and I should be able to get some regular numbers and posts up on here. For now however, all I have is how I'm feeling.

Last I weighed myself (Friday midday, I took a sick day to cure a sore throat and general exhaustion) I was at 181.6 So, that's back to where I was before February drove a tank through my diet. I cannot say I was super good this weekend. I did my best, but there were cookies being baked. You really expect me to resist fresh baked vegan ginger snaps and peanut butter pillows? I thought not. I did do a lot more walking than normal though, so that hopefully made up for some of my transgressions. I will attempt to get up early enough to weigh myself tomorrow morning so I'll have some numbers to report. When I hit 179 (or suddenly lower) I will post. 

In terms of how I'm feeling about the diet, it's not what I eat or what I can't eat and what I do eat that is the problem, it's more of the situations it puts me in when I'm not at home, which is most of the time. It's a bit annoying to be constantly worrying about what I'm eating. Whenever I eat I have to worry about a lot of things. First all the diet rules (no carbs no sugar) and then portions (will I be hungry later?) and then price.  That's the one part of this that I don't think I can keep up forever. I want to be able to go out to eat with friends and eat whatever the hell I want, even if it is more than once a week. When work has free lunch I want to be able to eat the whole sandwich, the bag of chips and the cookie, not just the innards of the sandwich. I think I can manage it whenever I'm eating by myself or just with Jon, but outside of those normal circumstances, I don't like carrying the restrictions. I don't want to feel diet guilt for eating cookies my friend made. At the moment, that's sort of what I do anyway, but until I lose another 10 I will probably still do my best not to do it too much. At 170 I will worry less. 

So that's the update. I am working on a real recipe post for my "Not-Pasta Pasta" which I'm sure there is a better name for, as there is no way I actually invented it. That will probably get posted later today or tomorrow.