Whew!

Well, this week has been a train wreck. I've been exhausted all week, been going into work late, I stayed home tuesday. Just not very functional in the general scheme of things.

I completed 3/5ths of my goal though... or I will this afternoon. I managed brief bouts of wii fit both monday and wednesday (half an hour each, a whole bunch of different exercises), and I plan to do it again tonight when I get home.

I also DID make flax bread (courtesy of my day off on Tuesday). I need to get a proper toaster, so I can toast it, because its a bit fluffy and airy for my general bread tastes. It's delicious with butter and honey though!

So, the goal next week is the same. I plan to make another batch of flax bread (perhaps 2 batches) on Monday (Memorial Day equals no work! Yay!) and also get some sandwich makings when I go to the store so I can take sandwiches to work, instead of buying lunch. On top of that, M-W-F Wii Fit. That's a lot for one week, so hopefully I can manage it.

I've been having a lot of trouble managing fatigue lately. I've been very tired this week, despite my going to bed early. When my alarm goes off at 7:30, I just can't will myself out of bed. Even if there's warm coffee waiting for me in the kitchen. [Courtesy of my super awesome boyfriend... who unfortunately goes in to work 2 hours before me.]

Part of the problem, I know, is that I am unhappy at work and I see very little point in going in these days. Today I heard about some possible progress and a possible return to my old project so, here's hoping I have purpose at work again soon.

Until then, I'm just going to work on getting my exercise in so that I can be healthier and sleep better. As well as just eating better generally speaking. With the flax bread I have managed to avoid the starchy carbs this week for the most part, but I have have executed a massive fail on the sugar front. That comes from it just being a rough week, though I know that at some point it does just make it worse. Doesn't keep me from eating the ice cream and sour patch kids though. Me and sugar have an instant gratification sort of relationship. We always have. I've eaten sugar like that since high school, and I know it's bad. I also know that the only way for me to defeat the weight at this point is to reduce the carbs and hit the relative gym (no actual gyms). And attempt restraint on the sugar front.

In terms of motivation... When I started up the Wii the other day it reminded me that, according to BMI, a healthy weight for me is 129. Now honestly, I think I would be a stick at 129, and I don't think I could sustain that weight, but I am curious as to what being 129 would be like. Keep in mind that that's a 60 pound drop for me, and at the current rate/ without me spending money on a trainer to kick my ass, laser surgery (they do that for being overweight now) or a diet meal plan thing, that will take me years. To be honest, at this instant a trainer doesn't sound so bad, but I don't have the money. I have also realized that as long as I'm doing the exercises that work for my body (ie, not running) it's actually kind of fun. Wii Fit works as a consistent, light weight sort of exercise, but long term it's probably not going to be enough... if I want to get down to 129, which is less than I have ever weighed in my adult life. The lowest I remember seeing on the scale was 133, and that was my junior year of high school when I was doing yoga and being on dance team, as well as basically not eating (I was one of those sleep study internet friends sorts, food was not high on the priorities).

A lot of me would really like to get back to that lifestyle, but as an adult it's really difficult. Dance and yoga classes require money and time, cooking is a daily activity. Eating is built into the work day, exercise is not.

Admittedly, there is a 24 hour fitness in the basement of my building. Comparatively, they are a cheap gym and they do have Yoga and Pilates classes at times I could possibly manage (noon and 4:30). But I just checked and their monthly dues are 40 bucks. Yeah no. I need a Planet Fitness with good classes. But there aren't any that are convenient. Le sigh. Stupid gyms.

Anyway goals are

1) Flax bread sandwiches for lunch at least twice next week
2) Wii Fit MWF (and this coming sunday, double)
3) Zumba? Maybe?

Apartment Photos!

I bought a vacuum today! And I took photos of the apartment finally (now that we've been here for a month).

I have 2 goals for this coming week:

1) Wii fit or other equivalent exercise everyday
2) Make flax bread!

Flax bread is entirely fiber, and therefore is super low carb. I have everything I need to make it, and once I have, then I can start eating sandwiches and such again without having to deal with bread. Hurray!

Anyway, here are the apartment photos, taken with a panorama app for my phone.

The bedroom 

The bathroom and hallway

The kitchen, "dining room" and living room

We still don't have a dining room table, so it's not really a dining room yet. As you can see though, the living room is pretty big! We've had a few gatherings now (one fairly large one) and it fits everyone very well. I like it. :)

I'll let you know next week how my goals go.

Weekly Challenges

I know I have promised photos over and over. The problem is that the apartment is never completely clean, so I can never take the pictures. Don't worry though, we're having a gathering on Friday for Jon's birthday. The place will be as sparkling as possible, so I will take pictures Thursday night or Friday pre-party. I will post them when I next post after that.

This post isn't just to tell you all that I fail at keeping things clean. This post is to write down my new initiative. 

So, I have achieved step one of my 3 step plan for happiness. I am happy at home. There are still a few things we need/ it would be nice to have, but they're extras and they can wait. Home is a good place to be, and at about the 3 week mark, it's starting to feel like home too. Slowly building that threshold that demons etc can't cross uninvited. It's nice to feel like I have one. Comforting, even. Anyway, supernatural musings aside, I have a happy home and now it is time to address step 2. Myself.

Now, this has never been a personality thing. I am happy with who I am and the way I behave and react to things for the most part. Sure there are a lot of things I don't necessarily handle very well, but a lot of that is my youth and something that must be learned over time. It's not something I can simply "fix" in the way that I can sort of fix the other things that bother me about myself. I have 2. Both are difficult, both I have battled previously, both are tenacious and need a serious putting-in-their-place. The first is my weight, which I have obviously addressed here before. The second is my acne, which I will discuss later down the road when we finally get to step 2b. Right now, step 2a. weight. 

I just had an idea for a plan of attack, and I hope I will be able to pull it off. 

Weekly challenges. 

Each week, I will give myself one weight-loss related challenge. The challenge will be something that carries throughout the week like: make your own, low-carb, high calorie lunches all week, or go swimming for 30 minutes each evening, or go to zumba class twice, or eat carb-free dinners. 

My task is to, at least to start, complete that challenge and only that challenge each week. If I start doubling up, I will fail both. So, one challenge at a time, if I do some of the other stuff too, great! But it shouldn't interfere with my challenge for the week. 

If I am successful, I should earn rewards. I think the only legitimate reward that will motivate me is going to be money, so, I'm going to move a certain amount of money (say, 10 bucks) each week I am successful into a "buy something for Kiersten" fund. Eventually I'll have enough to buy one of the big things I want. (an xbox, a kitty cat, a bigger tv etc etc). 

So that's the plan. I'll start next week. I think with lunches. 

My Diet History

I wanted to write about myself and veganism/ vegetarianism/ other dietary choices I have made. Over the course of my growing-up as a foodie (which I am by no means done with) I have had various bouts and forays into the meatless and dairyless cuisines. Sometimes it was out of necessity, sometimes accidental and sometimes deliberate. My conclusion was, in the end, that very little less than a truly omnivorous diet is sustainable for me.

Towards the middle of high school, I made an ethical decision to seriously cut back on the amount of red meat I consumed. This meant no hamburgers, abstaining when my family had steak, and while not a true red meat, avoiding pork all together. I ate chicken and fish. Mostly chicken. Or I ate vegetarian. I think this might be where my love affair with cheese-as-a-protein began, as well as my forays into tofu and eggs-as-not-breakfast. I ate like this for 3 years. I would cave and have a cheeseburger from In-n-Out about once every 6 months, but for the most part, I never ate cow or pig.

In terms of body shape, during this time I was the skinniest I have ever been, but I think it was because of other factors. I was exercising regularly (bi-weekly yoga class, during school hours) and I was also skipping meals. I recently read a journal entry of mine from either junior or senior year where I had purchased a chocolate muffin as my only lunch (and then proceeded to pocket it for later maybe), but a friend went and got me sushi, and then I wasn't hungry at dinner time and so I skipped dinner. I probably didn't have breakfast that day either. Thinking about the way I sometimes ate in high school leaves me wondering if my friends were secretly concerned. I was on a pretty harsh medication at the time (Acutane, for systemic acne. This is the acne drug that frequently causes depression) and I think that may have affected a whole lot of the way I was behaving and eating.

Eventually, I started having awful cravings whenever steak appeared. It just smelled and looked so good! So I would have a piece or 2. You know how sometimes certain foods just taste like your body needs them? Like they're nourishing you in a new way that you had been missing. That was the way I felt about steak. I still feel this way occasionally. There are vitamins in steak that my body does not get any other way. So I went back to eating the way my family did.... when I was with my family.

At this point I was in college, and eating at the buffet-style cafeteria every night. Meat was generally untrustworthy. It was occasionally good, but for the most part, I stayed away. I ate vegetarian on weekdays. Steamed vegetables, salad, tofu, cheese. The occasional slice of pizza, chocolate milk. Potatoes and pasta. I would often eat chicken or seafood on saturdays when we went out to eat, but for the most part my diet was meatless.

Needless to say, since I've already said it on this blog, all that pasta and potatoes got to me. I gained weight like crazy. I was not really eating the right things for my body, though I wasn't particularly aware of it at the time. I knew I needed protein, but I grabbed fatty proteins that were then partnered with either sugar or massive amounts of heavy carbs. I wasn't eating what I will call a "clean-diet."

Towards the end of my college career, I took note of how much weight I had gained. I was unhappy, so I tried to change things. The summer before my senior year I went on the South Beach Diet with both of my parents. I lost 15 pounds because all I ate was clean protein and vegetables, with relatively limited dairy. Towards the end of this, I had been contemplating veganism. My thought process was that I would lose a lot of weight if all I ate was salad. There is, of course, much more to veganism than salad. Vegans rely on starches to complete their proteins. It's a necessary part of their diet to have both the beans and the rice. But I had learned at school (though not in class) that a diet of veggies and starch didn't work for me. Also, my love affair with cheese was in the way. I thought about it, but I realized that I would give up many things I love for a lifestyle that may not work the way I want, and that would in the end become a chore rather than a tasty new way of living. I couldn't go vegan, and so I had to find another way.

The South Beach diet did work for me, but it was very restrictive. While there are plenty of things you can make, it is both carb counting and calorie counting, to some extent. I found myself hungry nearly all the time. And while I could snack, the snacks were difficult for me to prepare and bring to work. Nothing is easier to snack on than free goldfish and pretzels. Celery sticks and ricotta, or lunchmeat roll ups left me feeling somewhat lacking for the amount of work put into their preparation. And so I caved, and dropped the diet.

At first I maintained the weight loss. When I first returned to college, I managed to eat right for the most part. Then the financial drain and the constant presence of pizza began to take its toll. It was cheaper for me to sneak into the cafeteria, and to eat the pizza that my friends bought, than to take the time and money to buy vegetables and clean proteins for myself. The diet fell apart, and I re-inflated.

This brings us to the time already accounted for on this blog, between graduation and now.

My dieting in January and February was mildly successful. My weight has somewhat come back since, but I haven't gained it all back, and with a little bit of effort it goes down again. I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about weight gain (as she has had some problems with it) and she mentioned that the hormones in birth control during the first couple months could be part of the problem. I restarted BC in December; making January and February months 2 and 3. The tough ones. Now that I have been on it for longer and my body is more used to it, I should be able to get over the weight loss roadblocks.

The plan ahead is low-carb, but delicious I am sure.



I will post apartment photos as soon as I have the chance to tidy up and take them.

Enchilada Chicken

Well,  all of my things (or, all of the things I use plus a lot I don't) are inside the walls of my new apartment. I would say they're about 1/2 organized at this point. We still have a wall full of boxes. So, since I know I haven't been posting much, and I know that I won't be able to show pictures of my new place until at least later this week if not next, I figured I would give you guys a recipe.

I made this up after reading a few suggestions for low-carb chicken meals. It's super simple.

Ingredients:
Chicken Breasts (I use frozen, but you could use raw)
Chili Powder
1/2 can of Enchilada Sauce (I use red, but you could use green if you wanted)
Monterey Jack Cheese

My measurements are not precise when I make this and so I won't attempt to guess what they are on here.

Step 1:
Preheat oven to 375 and place your chicken breasts in a baking dish. I usually cook 4 frozen chicken breasts at a time. If you are using raw chicken breasts, skip to step 2 here, because you don't need to thaw. For those using frozen, stick the chicken into the oven for about 10 minutes. This will get it to thaw a bit so the spice in step 2 will take.

Step 2:
Dust the chicken with chili powder on both sides. If you're cooking from frozen, leave the chicken flipped, rather than returning it to it's original side. I'm never very exacting with this. Just dust some on, it doesn't have to be evenly coated but be generous. Stick the chicken back into the oven for 15 minutes.

Step 3:
The chicken should be completely white on the outside, for both frozen and raw, and the frozen chicken should have let out a bit of water. If you have a lot of water in your dish, I suggest draining it a little, but if there's only a little bit, don't worry too much about it. Shake and open your can of enchilada sauce. Pour  half of the can over your chicken, focusing on coating the chicken and not so much on filling the pan. Return to the oven for another 10 minutes.

Step 4:
Add a slice of Monterey Jack (or whatever other cheese you like) to the top of each piece of chicken. Bake for another 10 minutes. While that's cooking, make your side dish. I sauteed some frozen vegetables with olive oil and garlic powder for this meal.

Step 5:
Remove chicken from the oven and serve! Jon likes to add the extra enchilada sauce from the pan over his chicken.

The resulting foods should be moist and delicious!

I hope this will hold you all over until I have apartment photos to post, and let me know in the comments if you have any questions! (Yes those are our new plates on our new counters!)

Moving on Saturday

We signed the lease yesterday. We move on Saturday, a journey that will begin at my parent's house in Novato, stop by the current place in SF, and then end with me, Jon and my father moving all of the things out of the truck and into the apartment. I have never been so excited about something that's kind of a chore.

Seriously. I'm enthusiastic about packing up things. I want to start right now. I want to be home, with a box on the floor, emptying the bookshelf.

I have spent the week staring at DIY projects for wall decorations and other home-y things. I want to be able to do them RIGHT NOW. But I can't, because we haven't moved yet. I have a building enthusiasm for being home and making a home.

Unfortunately, the side effect of this is that it makes being at work nigh unbearably boring. I have nothing to do and I am not really of value (HECK, I'M BLOGGING) so... what's the point in me being here when I could be home doing cool things? I think this will only get worse... oh dear. Solutions for making a crappy job less crappy?

Pictures and such will be posted once we're settled (probably some time next week).

I absolutely can't wait to be moved in! Check out my pinterest (link above) to see the things I have planned.

I has a place!

Apartment obtained! It's a pretty large (670 sq. ft.) one bedroom with a big living room, a kitchen and it's in an apartment complex with a pool :)

I sense swimming, cooking and having people over for me all summer. I'm looking forward to it.

Step one is nearer to complete!