Season's Greetings!

Hi all.

I've not been very good about posting on time the past month or so, and I'm sorry. It will probably stay that way. I think I will aim for posting once ever 2 weeks, both because it's easier for me and because that's usually when I can spot my own trends, rather than just weekly where I'm guessing at things all the time.

SO, the report is positive! I have done very well the past couple weeks. I finally managed to condition my body to eating less (it took a couple days of crackers and cheese lunches) so I think I might actually be succeeding. I weighed myself last night and for the first time in a while saw a number under 200 at the end of the day (it was 197.6). Admittedly, I hadn't had dinner yet, but I don't think I had more than half a pound of food, tops. And I also exercised. So yay.

Also in the past week, I actually enthusiastically experimented with the gym. I got a free pass for 5 days to 24-hour fitness, just to use the machines.I went both days this weekend and it was good! Though, I may have pushed myself a little too hard, since I had a minor fainting spell Sunday night. My body is totally not used to that much cardio. I would like to continue, but I know myself and I know I will only go on days when the gym is my only commitment. So the weekends. It's extremely unlikely that I will go after work consistently, though I imagine I will go on the rare day where I feel pent up. It is totally worth it still though. The calorie burn and the achievement from having actually gone and moved my butt was awesome. There is one drawback though...

I can't afford it. At least not right now. With the holidays and some other financial hoops, there's too much stress on my bank account right now to make the leap and pay the initiation fee. I could certainly afford the 30 a month (if I do it just for me and just for one of the 2 easily accessible gyms), but it's starting out that's rough. See, almost every package at 24 involves an over $100 initiation fee plus first months payment. There are a couple deals that waive the initiation, but they also involve commitments to certain long amounts of time. I trust myself to go and to use the gym, but 24 hour is sort of your basic "Here's some machines and some weights and some places to work out. And some classes. That's it. Oh you wanted training? Extra $150 plz." I figure I'm eventually going to want to move on. Plus, when I next move, there may not be a convenient 24 hour, and I don't want to be stuck with a gym that's out of the way. So, it boils down to this: I'm going to have to wait until at least the middle of January if not February to truly start.  I suggest that you all bring it back up in the comments at that point, and I'll look into it again. The other possibility is that I could wait and see what the New Years resolution deals are. If there's one with a short time commitment and zero initiation fee, then I'll jump on it. Eyes peeled.

Now, moving along. Status. As I mentioned I have been quite good about exercise and eating, and I'm hoping I've seen some success (update on Saturday when I weigh myself). So, given this, and the fact that it has been 2 weeks, $30 goes into the shoe fund. I imagine at this point I will probably wait to buy the shoes, because this is an abstract fund and not a real one. Just knowing I've earned them will be enough until I can afford them. Current balance: ...$95! I have enough!

BUT AND ALSO OH NO. The shoes I was saving for are in the "Last Chance" section of the Tom's website and they're sold out in my size already. SADNESS. Ah well. There are a couple other versions in my size, but I'm not really all that attracted to them. I guess I will keep saving and try to figure something else out that I really want that's expensive...

Well, that's kind of depressing, but moving along to more exciting things! PROJECTS. They are still a secret. I have actually (with some assistance from my brother, who knows me very very well) changed the project entirely, but it is now also somewhat more definite. My new project idea is, somewhat unfortunately, completely separate, topic wise, from this blog. But I figure no biggy, since most of the people who read this blog are my friends, and you'll all like the new project. It may be that someday I will come back to my original project idea as a side project, because it is a good idea, but for now, this other thing (which I will expound a little bit on in a moment so you aren't dying) is a much better start towards where I want to be. In the meantime, I will still post here.

Anyway, I will not give too many details because SHH and also MINE, but the new project is a Youtube channel. Completely in video and audio form. I'm hoping I can film the first one this weekend/ at some point next week and get it up before Christmas. When I do post it (or don't post it, it's a little undeterminedly time sensitive) I will of course link you all to the new channel and beg you to like and subscribe.

On that lovely note, Happy Hannukah! Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanzaa! Eat lots of delicious foods, I wish you luck in cookie moderation and many fun times with family :)

I HAVE RETURNED

I would say I have returned victorious, but I'm not sure what the victory would be or if I've even achieved it at all. I made some trail mix? Does that count? No? Darn.

Anyway, we kind of accidentally (by which I mean TOTALLY ON PURPOSE) went on a Thanksgiving break. But now I have returned rejuvinated and overfed (this is a problem I have) and I've got some newsy type things to communicate to my 8 regular readers. No one else will be excited, since this whole thing is new to them.

I am working on a new project. It is a secret project, but it is somewhat related to this blog. I am excited, though I am not at all sure when this project will become an actual thing. There are many bits a pieces to be worked out. The things I can tell you are that it will be on the internets, will be somewhat intimately but not entirely connected to this blog, and will provide joy and wonder (and possibly kittens) for everyone, not just my friends who want to read about how bad  GOOD I am at weight loss and healthiness. Anyway, that is all I can tell you for now, I will be telling you more things and possibly experimenting on you as time passes and I figure more things out.

IN OTHER NEWS: There is very little else to report. I did not do so great at getting all of the planned physical activity in, but I did do some. It has been coming out to about half to 3/4 the promised amount. Gonna try to be better this week as I am slightly less busy with holiday (for now...).

I have been struggling a bit with 1300 calories. I can blame it on half a dozen things (Thanksgiving, delicious foods being delicious, being bored, being cold etc etc), but the trouble is that I can't seem to shake it. Admittedly, by all standards, 1300 calories is not very much. I'm hoping that for the most part I am landing in the 1400 to 1500 range, and according to MFP, I am. But honestly, I don't trust MFP all that much.

I have a really bad habit when it comes to logging food and to some extent exercise on MFP: I lie. But I tell myself it isn't lying. I am merely adjusting for what seems like an exorbitant number of calories that must come from the fact that the thing I have chosen from the database is not EXACTLY what I ate. Other brands have more calories than my brand (or homemade thing). I have tried entering my own recipes, but the trouble with that is that I'm not big on measuring when I cook (I have earned my mother's jazz cooking stripes) and sure I can guess all I want, but when you ask me how many people it's supposed to feed? Hell if I know. And so I adjust, according to whatever I feel like the serving I ate was, calorically. I like to think that after a while of watching the number of calories in things I would know enough to be able to do that. But given the inconsistency of both my diet and how much I change whatever it is, it feels increasingly like lying about what I have eaten, and so I feel that my numbers at the end of the day are off by a billion calories and that I will never truly know how much I have eaten because I can't be honest with myself about it.

Yes. I can't be honest with myself about food. I have secret foods that never go on my diary, nearly every day. Usually they amount to maybe 200 calories worth, Today it was 4 hard candies and a serving of dried mango and a serving of walnuts. I had the mid afternoon munchies! What was I gonna do? I have already busted the food budget for today and dinner hasn't even come around yet. I don't have time for exercise this evening. DOOM. and so I leave them off, so I have some calories to work with... maybe.

Perhaps the best solution to this problem is to start logging the foods I eat BEFORE I eat them. Then, the guilt gets taken out constructively with me adjusting the actual amount of food I eat, rather than the digital amount I say I ate that may or may not be true. I will try this starting tomorrow (today is already a forgone conclusion).

I have not been very good of late with posting regularly and keeping tabs on my exercise progress and my monetary progress towards SHOES. (I still want them, they are so fuzzy and comfy looking). At last report I believe I was at $50. I have not been successful enough to reward myself for both weeks individually, but, since I have managed to keep up the exercising and not resorted to complete laziness, I will give myself 15 for both weeks combined. That's half the reward for half the effort that I needed to put in. My shoe fund is now at: $65.

This week will be better. I already did the workout yesterday and I'm planning on doing another tomorrow. Plans towards the end of the week become very fuzzy and very possibly busy so I may not get another workout in until Saturday afternoon. But, if all else does totally fail, SATURDAY AFTERNOON WILL BE SUCCESSFUL. (If I yell, I feel I will be more likely to actually do it, enthusiasm and all).

And so, that is THE PLAN. I will see you all next post, with possibly more or maybe less secrets.

Post Appointment Check in ( + Muffins!)

A couple important things came to light this weekend, through my appointment and some other adventures.

First, according to the scale at the doctor's, I've actually gained weight. It's only about 3 lbs, but still a net gain. For obvious reasons, this is EXTREMELY frustrating and upsetting for me. Just thinking about it brings angry tears up.

My counselor is really just that, a counselor, so we talked about my emotions and feelings about weight and why it matters to me so much. There's really quite a few things that make it matter, but a lot of what it comes down to is freedom. I want the freedom to be who I am and choose whatever the hell I want. My weight limits me, my lack fo fitness limits me. There are other factors in my life right now that also limit me, but they aren't really relevant here. The trouble is mostly that I feel trapped by my weight AND the effort to fix it. I want to get to a place where I don't have to work so hard, because I am no longer trying to change. Of course, my counselor tried to, somewhat weakly, lead me to decide that I don't really want to do all of this, because who I am right now is fine. But, like everyone who has gained weight, it is not so much that I want to change who I am now. It's that I want my body to be the way it was, because I wasn't always like this and the way it WAS was better. So, that's the goal, you know, undoing college. 

.... Yes I finally used the blog title in an entry.

With all of that in mind, I needed to go clothes shopping this weekend, and I did go. Now, generally speaking, I consider myself to be a normal size. There are plenty of people much more overweight looking than me, and more people who look to be around my size than there are super skinny girls. One would HOPE that this would appear in clothing store sizes. WRONG. Nearly the second I walk into a clothing store and have to choose a large, or even search for an extra large (which some stores don't even have *cough* forever 21 *cough*) I don't feel normal sized. I feel abnormal, different and wrong, because I'm not a medium (though it looks like most of the things on the shelves are smalls), and even most larges look too small on me. I went to Old Navy, and I am 90% sure that they changed their  pants sizing to make everything smaller.  According to my numbers (my hips measure about 40") I should be a 12 by most standards. At Old Navy, I have to wear a 16 to be even remotely comfortable. That's TWO sizes up. Thanks Old Navy, for making me feel super fat, abnormal and undesirable. Super great job for not caring about a woman's self esteem in her clothes.

I think clothing stores should be conscious of how their sizing affects the way a woman feels about herself. Make things reasonably sized for the majority of the population. A medium really should be the middle of the road, average. A 10 should be the same across the board, standardized at certain measurements, not like at Old Navy, where a 10 is an 8.

Anyway, back to my appointment, towards the end we spoke about next steps. I have a handle on exercise, in that I know I have to do it, I have a plan and it is fun for me. I also have a handle on logging what I eat and keeping track. It's clear that 1540 calories is still too many for my metabolism, since I've been eating at hat since August with no results, so we have lowered my net calorie intake to 1300. Net meaning that I can eat back calories used in exercise. I asked him specifically if he thought it might at all be what I'm eating, and he said that calories are really more important. There are things that are more healthy generally speaking, but it isn't critical that I avoid certain foods or even limit anything specifically. As long as I try to eat balanced meals and not all fat and sugar, it doesn't matter exactly what I eat. I could have pizza for every meal, as long as it was under 1300 calories worth, and it wouldn't make much of a difference in terms of weight loss. It's all numbers, the nutrients are irrelevant. So, 1300 calories is the rule.

I think the 1300 calories rule will change a bit of how I eat though, because I do actually have to make an effort to monitor how many calories I take in. 1540 was really easy for me to stay under because generally speaking, that's about as much as I eat. At 1300, I will actually be eating less. I'll have to stick to 400 calories a meal and be careful about the carry over. Combined with my exercise plan I'll be able to eat a little more, but it won't be as flexible as it was. But that's okay! I just want some results. This is really frustrating! Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have some good news.

I know I've said already the plan for the week, exercise wise, but here it is again anyway:
MWThSat: Blogilates. Maybe with someone? We shall see.

In other news, I just made some awesome muffins!

Mix some sugar free cake mix with a 15oz can of pumpkin, divide batter and bake at 350 for 20-25 mins. EAT. They're delicious!!

Revised Week (and next weeks plan)

Upon applying my actual life to the previously planned extreme exercise week, here is the revised plan through Monday, and what I actually did. If I manage it all, money prize (I'm at $50 now).

Monday: I did manage to do blogilates in the morning, take a shower and carry on with my day. Monday was pretty good. Unfortunately, I forgot that my body and 6 am have never ever gotten along, and I did not prepare by going to bed earlier, thus, I screwed up a lot of my sleep for the week, making it so...

Tuesday: I was supposed to originally do exercise in the morning again, but I was just way too tired to get up. So I slept in a bit instead and then went to vote and then went to work. I like having long pre-work mornings, but I also like sleeping... so blogilates didn't happen on Tuesday. (Tuesday night was of course spent staring at the Election. Yay Obama, btw).

Wednesday: Originally this was to be dance day, but it really is WAY too dark for me to be comfortable even walking to dance. My purchases are good for 90 days, I'll have to do the math, but I'm hoping I'll be able to go to a couple classes with friends when they are home over the holidays (*cough* Jen *cough*) and walking will be totally fine if I'm with someone. Instead, I did the full blogilates workout in the evening. It's still an hour of about the same kind of activity, so it works out about the same.

Thursday: As I was thinking I would after I failed on Tuesday to exercise, I made a point of doing the workout last night, because while I would do MWF, my fridays are unreliable, and saying MWTh is something thats more likely to happen. I'm trying to make this easy for myself. 

From here out: 

Friday: I don't have plans tonight and Jon probably does, so I am planning on getting a workout in (provided nothing changes). If something changes, then that's okay too. I know I will have plans either Friday or Saturday (shouldn't be both) so whichever day I do not have plans or I have an extended amount of free time by myself, I will do the blogilates set for that day. 

Sunday is the day off on the calendar (plus I have chores to do)

Monday: recycle last week. If I can't do the morning, I will do the evening routine.

This week I sort of came up with a routine, I'm wondering if I will be able to stick with it (as you've seen, me and routines don't really get along for whatever reason). When I get home from work, I clean up the living room and clear space for my workout. Then I change, and do the first couple videos. Then I stop and feed the cat (I've been doing some trainings with him, so it takes a minute). Then I do the rest of the videos, take a shower (or don't, depending on my mood) and go pick up Jon. The rest of the evening changes, but I go to bed around 11, take my multivitamin and snooze for ~8 hours. I've been waking up feeling pretty good.

The plan is basically to do whatever videos are on the blogilates calendar every day that I have nothing better to do except Sundays, which are rest days. I'm pretty sure that if I keep this up for a few more weeks, I'll see some change. 

I have my appointment with Tim this afternoon. I may post again after I talk to him. We'll see. I'm not entirely sure what he'll say... partly because I'm not entirely sure what the scale will say. 

More later, and as always, thanks for reading!!!

Blogilates

Hi everyone!

Sorry this blog is so late... I sort of fell off the diet and exercise wagon for a week and a half. I'm  in the process of getting back on it.

The reason for the motivation flop is well... the usual complete lack of results (seriously, NO CHANGE). On the somewhat bright side I do have an appointment with my counselor this week, so hopefully he'll be able to help me sort it out.

I have also reached the point where the dance classes aren't easy, because walking through the Mission after dark is not going to be very fun. Last time I went to class (err...before Hawaii) I made a friend who might be able to walk with me, but it's still a bit scary. I am planning on going tomorrow, and I do have 3 more classes purchased, so I'm GOING TO (I originally wrote that I probably would) go on Wednesdays for the next couple weeks. Maybe it will be okay walking through the sketchy neighborhood after dark, and I'll buy more classes and keep going (it is fun, and once a week sounds reasonably do-able).

Barring that (and in addition for the next few weeks) I am going to follow the Blogilates exercise calendar! I did yesterdays exercises, and they totally kicked my ass, but they were still fun (for exercise) and I felt super achieved afterwards. I am going to do the exercises listed everyday (when I don't go to dance, so not on Wednesdays). I'm going to try to do it in the mornings, because you know, sleepy brain doesn't know what's happening.

So here's the breakdown for this week. I know it sounds like a lot, but I'm thinking challenging myself might  will work out for the best.

Monday: Blogilates (AM)
Tuesday: Blogilates (AM)
Wednesday: Dance Class (PM)
Thursday: Blogilates (AM)
Friday: Blogilates (AM)
Saturday: Blogilates (Afternoon)

My appointment with the counselor is on Friday.

Hoping to get the day off Tuesday for Election Day. Don't forget to vote!!!!

Oh and, happy 50th post!

Third Presidential Debatercize

I know I missed the middle two debates ( I arrived in Hawaii the night of the VP, and left the night of the 2nd Presidential) but here is the game for the 3rd debate, on foreign policy. This game is compiled from various drinking games around the web. The intention is that it is meant to be played for 20 minutes at any point during the debate. You can start at the beginning, in the middle, or do the last 20. It's designed to keep you moving, but not stack up so much that you have to omit things (my first game had this problem). SO here we go:

5 jumping jacks when YOUR candidate says any of the following:
Terrorism
"Dependence on Foreign Oil"
Osama Bin Laden
"In Harms Way"
Troops/ American Soldiers
The Rose Garden
Ambassador Stevens
References Foxconn or Chinese factories making Apple products
Commander in Chief

10 push ups for the mention of the following countries:
Iran
China
Israel
Palestine
Russia

5 squats for the mention of the following countries:
Afghanistan
Libya
Egypt
Syria
Greece
Iraq
Either Korea

1 10 sec plank per instance of interruptions

5 lunges for an obvious lie or position change

5 jumping jacks for a zinger

** Since it is sometimes hard to remember what things are under what category during play, when in doubt, do 5 more of what you just did.

Island Time

First, I'd like to apologize for the tardiness of this post. There was simply too much going on this week for me to have a moment to get to writing this until now. But anyway, here it is now.

Hawaii was amazing and a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time in the water and a lot of time walking. Waikiki is a big place, and the best beaches were a bit far from my Dad's apartment. So, we did a lot of walking and a lot of swimming. We did manage to go snorkeling and boogie boarding. We saw turtles and baby fish. I even saw a humuhumunukunukuapua'a (Hawaii's state fish), though I suppose to most the turtles are more exciting. Pictures are still forthcoming (my dad returned the underwater camera, so he has them) but I do have one of the turtle photos:

If you'd like to see a breakdown of how much exercise I got, I will point you to myfitnesspal (Midna07), as I recorded it all there.

As of my last weigh in, nothing has changed, but that could have been any number of factors, as my usual weigh in time is somewhat difficult to replicate exactly. My measurements are all down though, which is good and in the end the more important number. I care more about my shape than I care about the number on the scale, in the end.

Since returning Tuesday night I have not done much exercise this week (tbh I feel kind of gross), so I might try to get some Wii Fit or mild cardio in tonight or tomorrow. I've also definitely had my last alcoholic beverage for a little while, I've done a lot of drinking (not binge drinking, just one or two a night) since we left for HI, so now that we're back and resettled, it's time to stop. It was good, but the calories are unnecessary now. It's also been a little bit of a continuing party week since one of Jon's friends from Davis has been visiting. Tonight is his last night here so things should settle.

Sugar has also been something I've consumed too much of, but I've been finding that a little harder to cut down on. I have switched to the lighter calorie Cool Lime Refresher at Starbucks, but unfortunately it still brings me above the limit myfitnesspal has set for me when combined with my regular diet (things like tomato sauce and fruits). I also like the refreshers a whole lot more than coffee, so switching to the available stuff at work is out of the question. I'm not entirely sure I can drop the caffeine at this point, but I will attempt to work on generally getting more sleep so that they become less necessary.

We will return to regularly scheduled updates with the 3 categories next week, but for now, here's the roundup of success last week and goals for next week. Because of Hawaii and the spanning over 2 weeks, this week is combined with last week regarding goals and success, so I only get $15, not $30, as I did not properly set goals for this week.

Oct 8 -20:
Goals were: go to dance class on the 8th and exercise in HI
Success: Super success! $15 to shoes! (balance now $50)

Oct 21- 27:
Goals: Presidential Debatercize for 20 minutes (New game setup forthcoming) on Monday, Dance class on Wednesday, (additional walk = additional $5)
Success means $15 more towards shoes!

In short, Hawaii was great, my diet is currently a mess but I'm working on it, and I was successful last week.

[There will be another post coming shortly, tonight or tomorrow, with the details for Debatercize Monday night]

Hawaii Here We Come!

Before we get into the discussion of how freaking excited I am for my upcoming tropical vacation, I need to talk about last week.

So, the original plan for last week was to go to dance on Monday and Wednesday. When I made that plan, I was for some reason thinking the Presidential Debate was on Thursday. Of course, it was actually on Wednesday and directly conflicted with dance class. So that's why I made the last post (which has been of great entertainment to many).

Now, I did actually do it for the first 15 minutes of the debate, with Jon helping me out telling me what I should do when. The requirements certainly stacked up. I ended up dropping certain words or elements because there were just too many. For example I only did 5 jumping jacks after a while because by the time I did 10, there were 3 more things I had to do and it was difficult to keep track of. For the next debate I'll make the lists shorter. It did certainly get my heart rate up and it was actually a lot of fun. The only reason I stopped when I did was because I got drawn in. I stopped at about the point Mittens started changing his entire position, and it became important that I switch to tweeting my outrage (you can go back and read it if you'd like, my twitter is linked above). 

I am going to give myself the $15 for last week, with the caveat that I absolutely must do it again for the next Presidential Debate, and maybe structure it a bit better. Since I will be in Hawaii for the VP debate this week, I've already decided that it's a drinking game (for various reasons, some possibly celebratory, some possibly to make it hurt less, it really depends how it goes!). It should be pretty ridiculous. Plus, maybe my Dad will play!

My current shoes-balance is $35. $55 to go!

Ok, time to discuss Hawaii and what that means for my exercise. Good things mostly! That's one thing about vacation (or at least my vacations), you get out more and you just naturally do a lot more moving! Getting the exercise in really isn't an issue. 

Since we are not leaving until Thursday, I still have to go to dance class today (Monday). No big, I think I actually have the once-a-week dance down. Twice a week is being pesky though. I will not be able to go on Wednesday because I will be busy packing and prepping the apartment for the exterminators who will be coming through the building while we're gone. Their timing is somewhat convenient but also inconvenient since it adds extra work just before and right after our vacation, but at least our apartment will remain roach-free. Other people in our building have reported them. Jon thinks he may have seen one once, but I haven't ever, and I'd like it to remain that way. Anyway, exterminators and extra work aside, no time for dance on Wednesday.

But never fear! We are going to Hawaii and we are going to be a block from the beach and the ocean. Swimming is a thing I am going to be doing a lot of. Boogie boards are packed and ready, and I am so excited to hit the surf. I'm somewhat worried that my pale skin will burn forever, and I do not expect to get out of this vaca completely unscarred, but I am going to try to help it as much as I can. Tonight I'm planning on making friends with some self-tanner lotion. Also, thank goodness I have been living in California for a year and have at least a little color. My Oregonian pale from college is gone, not to say I'm still anything but a baluga, but I do perhaps have some natural defense from the cruel day star. Also sunscreen. So much sunscreen. 3 different types of sunscreen. Yep.

So this weeks requirements are simply that I go to class tonight and that I get my ass in the water sooner than Sunday. I think I can manage that :)

I'm not bringing my own laptop, so I do not expect to be writing a new blog entry until NEXT Wednesday after we return. It may even be as long as next Thursday before I get around to it. So, I will see you all then!

The Debate Exercising Game

Normally I don't like to bring politics up on this blog, but they are a pretty big part of my life. I care a lot about the policy decisions being made in Washington, and I an very excited to vote this November. In that spirit, I have come up with the following.

The first Presidential debate is tonight (9 eastern, on every news channel and streaming on the internet). Unfortunately it coincides with what would normally be my dance class time. So, because I would like to watch the debate live, I can't go to dance. Bummer! It's alright though, I have a solution.I make it a game.

Imagine a drinking game and a TV show. Every time some specific meme or theme is mentioned in the show, you drink. This will be exactly like that, but with exercises. Here's the breakdown:

[This debate is limited to Domestic Policy, so all keywords etc are domestic policy related]

*Starred items indicate time override. If one of these things happens, whatever other exercise has to be stopped and replaced with this. Any additional exercises incurred during the starred exercise are ignored.

Key words - 10 jumping jacks per mention

• Workers
• Average american household/ family
• Healthcare
• Jobs (5 per, since it will come up a lot)
• Taxes
• Military (veterans included)
• "Government spending spree" 
• Massachusetts
• seniors
• young people
• small businesses
• entrepreneurs
• private sector
• millionaire
• billionaire
• Reagan

*Big Concepts - 25 lunges per invocation

• The American Dream
• Obamacare
• Romneycare
• Medicare
• 47 percent
• Math
• Education

*Unexpected, but possible, Big things - jog in place during their discussion, the whole time

• Women's issues (covers abortion, contraceptives, PP etc.)
• Marriage equality
• Citizens United
• The 99% (or the 1%)
• Climate change
• Immigration
• Net neutrality

Romney gaffe - 25 high knees
Obama gaffe - 60 count plank

Romney "zinger" - 60 count plank
Obama "zinger" - 25 high knees

Obama interrupts Romney - Run in a circle left
Romney interrupts Obama - Run in a circle right

*Enthusiastic cheers or boos from the audience - reaches for the duration

Statistics/ Numbers -
in the millions- 5 crunches
in the billions- 10 crunches
percentage - 10 lunges

5 Push ups if:
Either candidate addresses his opponent in the 3rd person
Compliments opponents personal life or family
ignores a question by addressing the audience
argues with the moderator

Obama says:
Let me be clear - 10 reaches
References Bain - 5 lunges
Blames Bush - 10 jumping jacks

Romney says:
Plan to create 12 million jobs - 12 crunches

*Anyone goes over time - plank from when their time ends until they actually stop


I have no idea how I'm going to log this, but I'm pretty stoked to try it out!

A more detailed post later but

Just for a quick update, since I know I need to write one, but I don't really feel like writing right now.

So the short version:


1) Only went to dance once this week, so no $15.

2) I did do some other exercise, so, there's that.

3) Same plan next week. Should actually happen because I have rested this weekend and work will calm down.

When Life Got In The Way

Sometimes, things don't quite work out as planned, and that's okay. It's just another of those things I need to learn to work around.

Exercise

Life got in the way this week. I screwed up my sleep schedule last weekend by essentially not sleeping, and that messed me up so I couldn't go to class on Monday due to exhaustion. I did manage to go on Wednesday, and actually going made me feel better. On Friday however, going to class was pretty much out of the question, because it was impractical considering social plans and general convenience. It would've been a hassle for me to actually go. I hope this week I can adjust properly and avoid the issue, but it may turn out that Fridays just aren't days I can have dance class. I will figure out a replacement.

Food

I think I ate okay this week. I don't remember having any moments where I felt like I ate way too much at the end of the day. This is somewhat surprising because I still hadn't gone grocery shopping (I went yesterday) and we were eating out/Safeway scrounging all week. It worked out okay though I think. I need to get back in the groove of tracking, hopefully I will be able to do that this week.

Motivation

I am about medium motivated at the moment. I enjoy dance class and so that's why I go, so it's now less because "oh god get the weight off get it off get it off" and more "time to flail wheeee." That's better than it used to be. What else... I'm enjoying eating mostly whatever I want. I'm not really fussing at all about what it is I eat. Though I'm sure when I go in next time, the food will be what is on the slashing board. 

We are officially going to Hawaii! I have dates and flight tickets!! I just bought them today. Super exciting. Now I guess I have an extra reason to try to go to dance class more. I will look into tuesday and thursday classes either this week or next, depending.

I am starting to worry a little that the $10 may not be enough motivation without a target. So I'm going to set a target. There's a pair of Tom's booties that I REALLY want. Trouble is they cost $89. So, those are what I am saving up for. So, to make it an obtainable reality rather than something that is weeks and weeks  ( like 6+) away, I am moving the $10 to $15. So, it will still take a while, but it's a bit of a shorter while. 

Because I am thinking that Fridays might not be something possible, and Tim said it was important for my goals to be something I think I can actually do,I am going to set it back down to 2  classes for now until I can do that reliably for 3 weeks. Then I will try to add the Fridays again. 

So here's the plan:

What: Dance Class

When: Monday and Wednesday at 5:45

If I go to less than 2 classes, no $15 and no one step closer to these:

http://www.toms.com/womens/botas/highlands-grey-wool-fleck-fleece-women-s-botas

Checking In

On time. Like a boss.

Anyway here's the rundown from this week:

The goals were:
Dance class Monday and Wednesday

Exercise:
Totally did it! I love dance class. I mean, it makes me super duper tired, but other than that I haven't found that it does horrible things to my evening schedule. So yay! The extra walking to and from dance is cool too.

The only concern I have is still walking through the Mission by myself. It's actually kind of funny because the area I feel the least comfortable is the part of my walk where there are the most people, just outside 16th St Station in those plaza areas. Headphones do seem to work as a deterrent, for the most part. And I always keep my phone tucked away when I'm walking, even if I don't like the song Pandora gave me. When it's still light out, sunglasses. But still dude, can be scary. No incidents as of yet, though.

Food:
Normally, if I had eaten the way I have for most of this week, I would be super duper upset at myself for eating too much of the wrong things.
But the 700 calories burned in the combined dance classes make me feel way better. Mostly I think it's because I know that when I was skinny in high school, not including the times when I was not really eating, I ate basically the way that I eat normally now, complete with the back and forth between frozen lunches and purchased lunches, large amount of pasta mixed in with a random smattering of home cooked dinners (thanks mom), the occasional tiny tiny breakfast, and the vending machine type snacking. It really works out about the same. You could even substitute alcohol for sweets and it would round out.
So basically, as long as I'm dancing, I don't think I will be feeling so bad about food.

Motivation: 
I'm pretty psyched, and feeling a bit better. Partly because I weighed myself earlier this week, after my usual 14-hours no food super-sleep, and I have lost a pound! Woo!

Anyway, rundown for next week:

What- DANCE CLASS
When- Monday, 5:45; Wednesday, 5:45; FRIDAY, 6:15

Adding the Friday. I was thinking of adding it just for kicks this week in addition to the others, but I decided that I was too tired generally speaking and I have some social plans for this evening so it would be better for me to go home and take a nap instead. Plus, I think it will be better for my body to ease in on the frequency/ amount. I've already done nearly 3 hours of extra exercise this week (with the walking to and from), which is really way more than my usual. So, in the mind of not killing myself, I will start the 3 days a week next week and do that up until my next meeting with Tim, and probably not change it for a while after depending on what he says.

In other news, almost have tickets for Hawaii. Was going to buy them yesterday, but the situation keeps changing so I have to wait until it settles a bit. Luckily, price would have to go up by at least  $100 a direction for me to have a problem affording it, and I can always push it out to the cheap tickets. So, time isn't a big issue.

Oh and since I succeeded, I get $10. I think this puts me at $20? Counting leftover from when I went and bought things in August? Anyway, dunno what I'll spend it on yet. Something cool.

Dance class!

I know it's Monday and Monday's are no longer regular update days but...

I just finished my first dance class since High school, and oh my gosh. Sure I could only follow half of it, and the other half I was sort of just flailing, but boy was it fun. Plus, flailing is what you do when dancing... Until you finally learn it and you look fricking awesome.
I seriously didn't realize how much I missed it.

My excitement aside, the class itself was 45 minutes of fast paced jumping around choreography learned on the fly. They have big set of songs and the choreography is repetitive but intricate and really cool (not so much of the exercise type moves and more dance, with spins and travel). I'm guessing that each class uses whichever songs out of the 30 years of repertoire they want for any class. There's a huge variety. There were 70s songs mixed in with dub step, hip hop (gasolina for example) and samba. The choreography reminds me a lot of the kind of stuff that we came up with in Dance Team in high school, that is a mishmash of jazz, hip hop and modern with salsa thrown in for kicks. It's a lot of fun, even when you have no clue what's going on.

So, we did crazy cardio for 45 minutes with a couple short breaks inbetween songs, and then the last 15 minutes were floor work. First we did some arm isolation dancing exercises. They wre easy, but my arms still hurt. Then we did some pretty hardcore abs that the instructor called the hardest abs ever, I managed it ok with some mods, so I imagine I'll survive anything else. Then we did some legs, which was really more butt, but I am totally ok with that.

It rocked. I'm going again. I'm going to take hip hop too. This is the plan.

Alright, lets try this again

I failed the plan this week. To be honest after a certain point I expected myself to. I suppose that's a good part of why I did. But never fear I have a solution. But first, lets go through the usual sections

Exercise

So, I kind of balls'd it up this week. The plan was to dance at home last Friday, Sunday and Monday and possibly sometime later in the week. I managed it on Friday, and did a tiny bit (not the full half hour by any means) on Monday. Pretty much total failure. 

Most of the problem was that Youtube did not provide quite the way I wanted it to. The easy videos I could follow along with tended towards too much repetition, super simplicity (as in not very interesting moves) and they were too short (usually one song long). Any other video of the same sort was just some random person being like "I choreographed this, here's the moves and count. Learn it from my full speed dancing." And me responding "uh.... that's a lot more work than I want to put in" and moving on. 

I also grouped it all together at the beginning of the week, because I was unsure about my tiredness for the rest. And honestly, I was super tired for the rest. 4 day weeks suck. They are only good when they end. I've gotten a good amount of rest this weekend and I think I've rebalanced since my severe offset last weekend (3-day weekends and sleep are not friends). So hopefully this week won't be so bad. I also can't shake the feeling that I'm so tired because of my lack of exercise. But I think I have found a solution (more on this later).

Food

Oh god, I don't even want to talk about it. I mean I guess I haven't been awful everyday, but I've been tracking less because I'm guilty about what I've eaten and I don't want to see the number on the calorie counter, because I know that it will just make me feel bad. 

Part of the problem is that I have been buying my lunches this week, and that causes a huge huge calorie boost, because purchased lunches are usually at least 200 calories more than any lunch I could bring in. Luckily I have been able to balance that with light dinners for the most part, but certainly not always. Several times this week I've had dinner when I wasn't hungry, or eaten enough to nearly make myself sick (though this happens with basically any full, restaurant sized meal now, it's definitely more mental than physical at any rate). So I have to work on that. I also need to go grocery shopping... I keep saying maybe tomorrow. Maybe I mean it this time? Who knows. We'll see. 

Motivation

I'd say I am still pretty motivated. The trouble is finding the particular methods of succeeding, and finding things that motivate me beyond my desperate desire to get the weight off. Honestly this particular motivation is not sustainable and is easily worked around when faced with some taunting food or another, or when tiredness confines me to the couch or bed. I am motivated in that I want to do stuff, but not so motivated that I have true reason to do it. I'm hoping that my solution for the exercise problem will also help with this.

So what is this solution I have been mentioning? Dance class. I have decided that enough is enough and I can make the investment and go ahead and pay for dance classes. I found a place in the Mission       that's pretty easy for me to get to from work (short BART ride plus 4 block walk) and has classes basically all the time, so they're convenient for me to get to from work. Tomorrow I am going to one of their Rhythm and Motion classes, which is basically a dance workout class but I talked to the receptionist and read about it online and it's a mix of semi-complicated choreography and a bunch of different songs so there's variety. She said that I should take the class about 5 times and then decide if it's for me, because it might take that long to pick up on the choreography and adjust to it. So, I'm going to do that. If it turns out that that's not what I want, there are all sorts of other classes I could try that are at my level and conveniently timed. So, I think that this will work out great. My only concern is walking through the Mission in the evening by myself, but it is on two main streets and in a little bit of a nicer area (I think) so it should be okay. 

So yeah, here's the plan for this week:

what- dancing

when- Monday, 5:45pm-6:45 pm and Wed, 5:45pm-6:45pm (Both nights the same class, with the same instructor)

If anyone in the bay would like to join me (and srsly, please do), the place I am going is ODC Dance Commons, near 16th St BART in SF. The first class is free and after that they are pretty cheap (max $14/ class I think), plus apparently they have showers, lockers and the whole shebang. I'm pretty excited. So excited I bought new dance pants (mostly because all of my old ones are either too short or fall down). So yay! Dance class time for me.

Counseling: Why didn't I do this sooner?

As everyone who's ever been to a good counselor knows, and as I have just learned, there really is no substitution for the amount of knowledge they have and their objective eyes on your situation.

If that wasn't enough to tell you that my meeting went well, I don't know what is. I won't go into terrible detail about the whole thing, but he picked some things out about my behaviors that I didn't even think were bad. And I don't even mean things like food.

He pointed out that I am terribly hard on myself. But it's very subtle (usually). I think that I "should do" such and such and that I'm "lazy" if I don't. When really its just that whatever it is isn't fun for me, so I don't want to do it, or that my body needs rest. It's not called being lazy when I sit on the couch and watch YouTube. It's resting.

He told me that the best way to make a routine sustainable and most importantly EASY, is to be doing things that I actually like to do for exercise. Things that I would do for fun. There is no "I should do this" only "I want to do this because I like doing it."

His system is a triangle, one focus at a time thing. The three areas are tracking, eating and moving. His process is to focus on one part of each of these at once, and build it into my regular routine. Since I already have the tracking pretty much down, and I at least have some sort of start (perhaps even an overdone start) on the eating, the issue is the moving. The final goal is to get half an hour to 60 minutes every day. But I'm obviously not going to start with that.

He gave me a worksheet for each week, to set a goal. Here's the run down, starting yesterday. So my weeks now start on Fridays, rather than Mondays.

What will I do: Dancing! - I'm supposed to do something I like to do, so that it's fun and I keep it up. I'm going to start with choreography on youtube. Does anyone know of any good ones? I'm not looking for dancing fitness videos, but actual dancing stuff that will teach you steps (SLOWLY).

Why- Because it's fun.

Days of the week: Friday, Sunday, Monday and one extra day sometime later in the week if I can

Time of day: Afternoon/ evening

How I will track: myfitnesspal.com (midna07, if you'd like to friend me. Then you'll get all the juicy details of what I eat.)

Who will I share with: YOU. THIS BLOG. You are important and stuff. (Jon also gets special notification of course)

How I will celebrate: The usual way I have been. $10 into the pot.

I already managed to do it yesterday. It was pretty fun. I found some videos on Youtube, but I think I will mostly do different videos every time I do it, with a couple possible exceptions. There's certainly plenty there.

In conclusion, another note from the meeting. "Don't fight your body, your body will always win. We're going to work WITH your body to get where you want to be."

Next progress report will be on THURSDAY, not Monday. So check back then!

Monday Funday

It's Monday again! Hello!

Thank you all for your support this last week. It has helped. I'm no longer emopants and I feel a lot better.

I did in fact set up an appointment with what Kaiser calls a Clinical Health Instructor who can talk to me about nutrition and exercise and such. My appointment is on Thursday. I just hope he doesn't say "You have to eat less cheese," because seriously, it's part of every meal, I don't know what I'd do.

Anyway, here's the roundup from last week:

Food

I think I may have cheated a little bit too much. I mean, I succeeded in calorie counts almost everyday, give or take 50 or so, and for the most part I ate healthy things. I don't think I can say that I ate "clean" though, which is the general goal. I think I need to look that up or have it defined for me, but I assume it means fresh lean everything and it's better if you make it yourself. My leniency towards cheese and ranch dressing probably don't fall under that category. Nor do the lazy restaurant meals. At least not the kind of restaurants I've been to. I'm already attempting to fix this though.

I bought a bucket of veggies yesterday. Ask Jon. He came home last night to a fridge with basically only veggies in it. And no lettuce. He looked at me like I was crazy and then made himself a spinach salad. I'm thinking I may need to go get some proteins for the week, probably mostly lean sausages and things that if they absolutely must can sit in the fridge for a little bit. I also need to simultaneously relax and tighten up on finances. I think it's mostly a matter of tightening the eating-out budget and losening the grocery budget. I'm working on finding some balance there.

Exercise

I kicked ass last week. Seriously. I did exercise almost every freaking day. Mostly it was playing damage control against my calorie counts. I mostly did POP Pilates, and I have discovered a couple of her routines that I really like and can do most of with some mild alteration. They also focus on toning some of the biggest problem areas for me so if I keep it up, I'll actually start to see a real difference. For some extra cardio I've been trying to do jumping jacks, though being on the second floor they make me nervous about disturbing my neighbors. I think I may switch to some WiiFit cardio this week.

I have been using My Fitness Pal. You should too! I'm midna07, if you'd like to friend me.

Motivation

Gosh, after all that work last week you'd think I'd be seeing a difference on the scale, but no. No change. I have also realized that I absolutely must weigh myself after 14 hours or more of no food, otherwise I am not at my bottom weight. The only time I go that long without eating is Friday evening to Saturday afternoon. So, Saturday midday before I eat is my weigh in time. No change this past Saturday. Maybe the veggie heavy week this week will help.

So, motivation wise I'm a bit grumpy at my scale for not showing me some progress, but I have some faith in other sorts of progress. I did a waist and hips measurement, and I think, though I didn't specifically record last time so I can't be totally sure, that I have lost some inches on both. It's not a lot, but it is a minor victory. Hopefully I will see more of that this weekend.

Otherwise, motivation sort of just is. I'm sort of kicking my own butt out of bed in the morning, which is better. I made a canvas to provide some motivation (it says "It's a good day to have a good day" in happy yellow letters on blue), and I may change my alarm name to something silly like "If Frodo can get the ring to Mt. Doom, you can get your ass out of bed."

I think I'll be ok, since I want this change so badly and I know the only way I can get it. It's better when I don't have all the horribleness in my face, but I guess whenever I start getting upset about it the best option is to do a workout.

Also, I need some ice cream substitutions. Because I'm seriously missing Ben and Jerry's.

I will probably post again on Thursday or Friday and give a recap of what the nutritionist guy says.

See you all then.

Monday Update

Hi guys, just the usual monday update today. 

Food:

Is okay? I guess I did well last week, I managed breakfast all but one morning. Having the toaster has certainly helped with that. 

Regarding the vegetarianism post and your responses: The resounding answer was "no, going vegetarian will not make weight loss easier, it will make no difference whatsoever" if anything it might add hardship. So I have opted not to do that, obviously, though I have been eating a bit like a vegetarian the past couple days anyway. 

Mostly I think it's a matter of forcing self control and really only eating when I'm hungry. This is a billion times more difficult than it sounds, especially because I have emotional eating habits. On the bright side, I have learned to quell the emotional eats with healthy things like yogurt and dried fruit, rather than cookies (not that I have any cookies in the house to begin with). So that's good.

Exercise:

I can't remember if I did in fact do wii fit early last week. I'm thinking that I did, but I don't remember. With the end of the Olympics, I have nothing to watch on TV so the methodology has had to change again. I did YouTube fitness videos twice later in the week. Once on Thursday, and again on Saturday. Both videos pretty much kicked my ass, but I did what I could of both of them, and it still took about half an hour each. That's a lot of calorie burn there. For effort, I will give myself the benefit of the doubt  and say I did my 90 minutes a week last week and therefore earned the 10 dollars. That puts me at $20. 

Motivation:

I had a bit of a breakdown this weekend, honestly. I'm unsure as to what exactly brought it on. I've actually been down all weekend for unknown reasons. It's very weird. I don't like it, but I also don't know how to fix it.

I do want to lose the weight desperately. I feel heavy and gross and I think the reason I don't feel well and that I am getting what I have decided is heat rashes, is because of my weight. This drives me nuts. There is nothing else in the world that makes me more upset than this idea. For something so guiltless, accidental and easy (the gain) to become so much of a difficult, self-punishing responsibility is just endlessly unfair. And I'm only 50lbs overweight! I can't imagine what people are suffering at 100 or 200 lbs over. 

Having the reality of the health issues pop up makes me feel extremely powerless. Even if my numbers are (finally) going down, I still feel like it's not enough, and that there is so much reliance on my own responsibility and restraint that I will never make it as far as I want to. I'm scared of what will happen when I inevitably falter or give up, or decide that "enh, I can have this cake" too many times. I don't trust myself. [In reality, I don't trust myself at pretty much anything, but that's another discussion]. I'm thinking that it is time I got some professional help. Someone who will tell me "You have to do this" and not let it be a choice. I need to be under doctor's orders, because those I will listen to. If I make the order myself, or someone without that authority makes that order, the order doesn't have legitimacy and can be avoided. Yes. I need orders, because I don't trust myself to just do it. If I make the rules, I can bend them. If someone else makes them and enforces them, then I can't bend them, because I'm accountable to someone else. I would rather do this with a medical professional, because I know they will help me fix it and keep it.  So I need to get a nutritionist/ weight-loss counsellor. I will work on this this week. 

Goals:

Stop being so emopants, 90 minutes of exercise, work on portion control and healthiness of food (untracked). 

Vegetarian?

This blog post is here to pose a question, and ask for opinions.

Should I go vegetarian? 

Would it help me lose weight? Will it make any difference at all?

With this, I would like to add several caveats/ things to keep in mind

1) I do like meat, and I will probably still be cooking it and probably still have it occasionally. There is no way I am going to ask Jon to do this with me (nor will he choose to, I don't think), so the meat will still be around. I know I will just give in and have some sometimes, and of course special occasions are entirely off the books. The question here is not so much about strict vegetarianism, but a distinct effort to limit the meat in my diet. 

2) I am well aware that going vegan is an amazing way to lose weight and just generally eat better, but for reasons previously mentioned on this blog (ie, my love of cheese), I simply can't do it. I'm going for vegetarianism as a sort of halfway point that will still give me some benefits, without taking away the things that I love. 

3) Part of the reason I am contemplating this is because I want to be able to make the cheaper starches (pasta, bread, rice) a reasonable part of my diet without feeling guilty for eating them. If I'm vegetarian, there's all those meat calories to make up for, and therefore the carbs aren't so bad. Especially if I combine properly to make complete proteins out of them (red beans and rice ALL THE TIME). I think this will also help me to consider meals consisting of mostly veggies and starches to be complete meals, rather than them missing something.

4) I actually really like most meat substitutes. I like tofu, tempeh and portobello mushrooms, though I would like to try to stay away from soy as the estrogen is bad news for weight loss. Plus, I have been dying to try some freezer meal marinades, and I think those will take to them well. Also, those are cheaper than meat... right?

5) As mentioned in #2, I will still eat cheese. Lately it has mostly been goat cheese, parmesan (the kraft stuff, awful, I know but cheaper) and the occasional aged white cheddar binge. I don't drink milk regularly (makes me break out) and I've already moved to almond milk (or soy when I must). I could definitely do to eat more eggs generally, I don't usually have time in the morning. I'm still on the fence about seafood? 

So, thoughts on this? My concern is that because it is only a halfway point it won't be effective at all, but I'm really trying to find a way to lose weight that isn't an unsustainable diet that I will just balloon out of the second I drop it. Exercise will continue, obviously, but I need to get the food part right too.

In other news, I'm itchy AGAIN / still? Taking the antihistamines helps, but towards the end of the day they wear off and the itch returns. Lotions help somewhat as well. Still. BLERG WHY??!

Anyway, more on Monday. 

Sore Everywhere

I hurt in all the muscles, and some non-muscle places. I'm thinking that pretty much definitely means I succeeded this week, even if becoming sore was all I did.

Here's a recap.

Exercise:

Monday I did wii fit free step, Tuesday I did arms, Wednesday I was lazy. Thursday I did a lot of extra walking downtown, Friday I did wii fit again. Saturday I did a lot of stretching and yoga, Sunday I went bouldering/ did some cardio on an eliptical machine.

It being Monday again, the most recent damage is yesterday's attempt to climb things. My arms are kind of in the process of yelling "WTF!" at me. I'm not very good at climbing, being subconciously terrified of falling and lacking the strength in my arms to actually successfully climb past a certain point (because I am nervous I will drop myself should I slip). So, the climbing that I did do was super strenuous for my arms (and somewhat my legs). So. Ow. But the good sort.

Food:
Ugh. I almost don't want to discuss it. Last week was pretty bad. This weekend too. I mean, a lot of the exercise made up for it some. Part of the problem was that we were out of groceries. Yesterday was somewhat better because I was scrounging and a lot of what we had left could be construed as low calorie/ healthy, and then once I went shopping I ate like half a celery head. I have noted that I do mostly "shop the rim" now unless I'm going in for something specific (like Worcestershire sauce), pasta, or frozen things. I know pasta is kind of bad, but it's cheap (though my grocery bill doesn't scream that) and really really easy. The idea here is really to keep Jon and I from eating out/ ordering in. We've gotten a whole lot better about it, but it's still a work in progress. Admittedly that is more of a financial move than a health move, but one step at a time. I should also note that the pasta I buy is Eating Right Veggie Pasta (Rotini), it's really good and gives you a full serving of vegetables. I also buy frozen meals because they keep, they're easy and otherwise Jon and I wouldn't eat all that much protein. I buy fresh meats too (as well as have a constant supply of frozen chicken) but if I don't limit them to one or two per shopping trip, we don't eat them before they've spoiled and that's a horrible waste of funds.  So, last week was filled with burritos and ice cream, but this week will be better. Meal plans include bratwurst, steak and goat cheese wraps, celery salads, pasta and  shrimp stir-fry.

Also, I have vowed not to spend any money either today or tomorrow, and that includes lunch, so I'll have to make do with my lean cuisines.

Motivation:

The Olympics have ended, which is very sad. There's 500 something days until Sochi. (which reminds me more of dessert than Russia). I hope by the time those 500 days are up I will have lost all the college weight and kept it off. I also want to be fit, but I'm hoping that's more a biproduct. So, unless I can find a channel actually showing the Paralympics on cable, the televisual motivation has ended. What next? Well there are still some lasting effects (I hope) from the Olympics in that while I don't think I'll ever make it to Olympic level fitness, I do have a place to aim for. I can look at an Olympian and say, okay, what parts of that can fit on me, and how do I get there? Right now, I'm working on my arms. I've always felt that my arms were the first place to react when I exercised them, particularly with swimming, but other things too. My theory is that if I can tone my arms first, they will serve as motivation for the rest of my trouble spots. Plus out of all the places to be really sore, arms aren't so bad. I'm still keeping up with the basics of course, walking of some variety and other such things to keep the rest of my body on the right course, but without the specific focus.
So, I'd say I'm pretty motivated.

In terms of last week, at the behest of several readers I have given myself the $10. That put me at $60. and then I hands down earned another 10 this week for $70.

On Saturday, because I had time and I wanted to, I took a trip to the Nike outlet that's close to my apartment. I finally bought that new pair of walking shoes (they are in fact, labeled as such) and I got a dryfit shirt so I won't get quite as sweaty and gross. I wore both yesterday and they worked out great! Overall I spent 60 dollars on them both, ( + tax, but I don't think that should be out of my exercise funds). A pretty good deal, especially on the shirt which was originally 40 something (it cost me 10). It was written down so much because it's an event tee with a name on the back. It's for the Olympic trials funnily enough, though it has "Decker" on the back, I think for Mary Decker who was a long distance runner in the 70's and 80's. Anyway, these expenditures bring my funds back down to $10. Now to build up to something else cool or useful.

Oh, also, I finally bought a toaster. Yay toast!

Questionable Success

It's Monday, and you all know what that means: update post!

As the title of this entry suggests, I am unsure as to whether what I did last week qualifies for a reward or not. I'm sort of asking for some reader participation here. You tell me if I earned it (and if I didn't tell me so! I'll try harder next time).

First, a little review. I spent pretty much all of last week being itchy (I'm still a little itchy now, but less). My skin became extremely irritated by something and went into super allergic reaction hyper panic mode. I didn't get hives, per say, but I did itch everywhere on my arms and legs, and I became especially concerned when it looked like I had been attacked by hordes of tiny mosquitos. So I went to the doctor. They told me to take it easy and apply steroid creme (plus take a massive dose of antihistamines). When the first round of relatively mild stuff didn't work, I went in again and came back with big guns (the same category of stuff, just more and better). They seem to have worked, though my skin is still hyper reactionary. I so much as poke myself and I get a red mark.

I was also told to try to keep myself cool, because heat would make the rash and the itching worse, so exercise of the extreme variety was pretty much ruled out for most of the week. Things finally came under control on Friday, when I did do half an hour of Wii Fit Free Step while watching the Olympics. I ended with something like 2600 steps on and off the Wii Balance Board. I hope to do this again this evening.

In terms of other exercise, I also did do at least one set (usually more) of bicep pulls and tricep lifts with the resistance bands everyday. Some days I did more than others. I'd say over the course of the week I probably pulled on the resistance bands about 250 times in various positions. We had friends over a lot and they can testify to the fact that I was using them all week.

Food... well. I didn't do any cliff jumping, but I don't know how well or poorly I did in terms of caloric intake. Some days I was just hungry. But I did really try not to over eat. Doesn't say whether I was successful or not. I didn't weigh myself either, so I have basically no idea on this front other than I was trying to be conscious of it without actually number crunching. I suppose we'll find out when I next weigh myself.

Lastly my motivation. Being itchy and uncomfortable does take a lot of wind out of the sails, as does being overly social (which happened too, whew need some space this week). But nearly all of this is made up for with Olympics. I really wish I had that kind of devotion to one thing. Unfortunately, all of my one things are forced out by a myriad of other one things... combined with life things and work which are both entirely (or at least mostly) unrelated. I imagine that maybe if I had all the time in the world, I would find a one thing that I could and would spend hours and hours doing every day.

I bet it would be on the internet. I bet it would involve art, music, writing and extreme nerdery. I'm betting it would be pretty cool. Now if only I had the time to dream it up and be devoted enough to take it seriously.

Anyway, my musings on how things would be if I ruled the world are irrelevant. I need to know for accounting purposes: My goal was, essentially "mild to strenous exercise for 20-30 minutes 3 times a week" which is what I told my doctor I do. Do the constant resistance band training sessions count? You decide!

I'll determine next week, based on comments, what happens with the floating $10 that I maybe get. The account stands at $40.

This weeks goal is the same. Reward also the same.
{For those that care, new Sample Society post this week sometime, the box will arrive tomorrow probably}

And The Routine Breaks again

Wow. I am just not very good at this whole "routine" thing. Consider the ball dropped. But that doesn't mean I can't pick it back up again, I just need to go for a couple weeks with a different one.

As I'm sure you've inferred, last week was a failure. Not completely, I didn't totally revert and I did move. I didn't laze about completely. I did have a whole pint of ice cream in one sitting though. Sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

What happened was that my old routine got completely turned upside-down because Jon was off of work for the second half of the week and he was therefore absent for several nights. We went out with friends Thursday (instead of me doing my walk) and then the weekend just collapsed on itself. But, I picked something else up that will suffice for the next 2 weeks, when the routine will inevitably change again.

I went up to my parent's house, and when I was there, my dad gave me a couple of resistance bands (because he has extras). He said that if I did 3 sets of 15 everyday I will become super strong. My arms are flabtastic, so that sounds awesome. Especially given how much I'm going to be in front of the television these next 2 weeks.

Now you're wondering why I'll be in front of the TV, given that I normally don't do television. It's true. I don't. I make a distinct exception for certain sporting events. One of those events (and my favorite of all of them by far) is the Olympics. I love the Olympics. If there was anything on my bucket list, it's to go attend them. If I were going to die in a week, I would find a way to get on a plane to London and get into those events. So, needless to say, while the Olympics are on, I live and breathe them.

So I spend a lot of my evenings watching primetime on NBC. Thats a lot of couch-potatoing... if I just sat on the couch. Now I have resistance bands and I can stand in front of the TV and do my reps while the Olympics are playing. I can also (though I have not yet) free step on Wii Fit while watching. I figure if I can do this for my usual six single servings worth, I will be golden until I have the time to get myself back out and walking. Remember I still need 2 weeks worth of money to go get new walking shoes anyway. This way no shoes required, no super effort required aside from getting up off the couch. And honestly at this point I think I can manage that :)

Food has been going ok. I haven't been especially fussy about it, though I am trying to be careful around things I know are suggary and nutrition lacking. Jon and I went to get burgers today for lunch, and I didn't eat my bun (though I did eat my sweet potato fries... yum). So. Continuing happily down that track. Doing my best to limit sugar 80 to 90 percent of the time (ice cream binges excepted of course). One of my biggest failures is midmorning snacking on goldfish. They're free at work so I have a hard time not munching on them when I get hungry around 10 am. Anybody have any good substitutes? Mostly the problem is that they're a lot of calories for not a lot of goodness, and they have some secret sugar involved. I'd like a snack I can just grab, is tasty and healthy. Pretzels spring to mind but I don't really like them all that much. Maybe I should buy some more of those multigrain crackers and bring those in and stick them on my desk. Or those veggie stick chips things? I can get those at costco. Thoughts people?

So lets see... Motivation. Well, I'm watching the Olympics and I'm really not sure what makes better motivation than watching a bunch of really fit people do really awesome things. Especially when most of those people are right around my age.

No rewards for last week, since I failed. But this week. This week I will succeed!

The Negative Calorie Birthday

Monday is here again! I want more sleep, but aside from that, this week should be pretty good. I think I have finally gotten into the groove of life... or something. I don't know. Whatever it is, I feel good.


Exercise Status

So last week, as expected, went very strangely. I was basically constantly occupied from Thursday morning until Sunday evening, and thus any and all of my planned exercise was basically foregone. This doesn't mean that I didn't get my equivalent of 6 single servings though. I certainly did.

It began actually, on Monday. I oddly enough felt like moving a bit, so I did some stretches and a little bit of Yoga in the evening. Nothing intense, and it doesn't really factor in, but I did do it. On Tuesday I truly broke from the plan. I did 20 10-minute exercise routines, both Pilates. I'm trying all the different 10-minute videos until I find one I really like. So far I'm sort of neutral on most of them. The Pilates one is actually really difficult, and most of the moves the instructor does are classified as challenging. I couldn't do half of them in the second video. I gave it a valiant effort, but there was simply no way. Perhaps when I am more focused on maintaining weight, rather than losing, I will come back to those.

I didn't exercise officially for the rest of the week, but I did definitely get exercise out of the norm. We went to the San Francisco Zoo for my birthday on Saturday, which is basically the equivalent of walking 4 miles. It took 4 hours, so it was pretty slow walking, but walking it was. And that counts. So, technically speaking, I did my 6 servings of exercise (even if there was a whole lot of combining going on) and so I have succeeded in my goal. $40 total! One more week and then I can go shopping!








Motivation Status

This week, I'm actually feeling pretty motivated. Mostly because I did finally see some success, instead of infuriatingly rising numbers. I lost a pound and half an inch from my waist. So I'm pretty pleased on that front.

The Livestrong app has kept me focused, and even has given me some new sort of goals that will help with everything. Livestrong.com has, built into it's member area/ community stuff, something called Dares. You can sign up to "take" whatever dare. I have taken 3 dares. 1) Lose weight. 2) 21 days to a smaller waist. 3) Meditate.

Yep, meditate. I've been using some apps and timers. I like it, though I'm not yet very good at it. It's a more productive use of my time than the internet. I don't usually do it for very long (maybe 10-15 minutes) and I usually do it either right before or shortly before bed. I think if I did it every night I would sleep great all the time. I have discovered something rather unfortunate though. The cause of a lot of my neck and shoulder pain is the way I sleep and the crappiness of my pillow. So I need to get a new pillow that will support my neck better, though I also think that just getting another pillow to go with the one I have will help. I always sleep better when I can steal Jon's pillow.


Food Status

I've been using the Livestrong MyPlate apps (now both on my phone and my new tablet) to help me keep track of my calories. It doesn't mean my diet has really changed, but it has made me distinctly aware of how many calories things are, and so it has me being a little careful most days. I only went over one day since I started using it last week, and that was Friday when Jon took me out to Chili's. It has me being careful about serving sizes and concious of the cost of snacking when I'm not hungry. I used to constantly want to eat more than one Eating Right frozen lunch, since they're really light and low calorie for my typical meal. But now, I find myself not wanting to do that as much. Partly because I am less hungry, and partly because most days I've been really good about drinking my 64 ounces of water.

The calorie limit Livestrong has recommended for me to lose 1 lb a week is 1557 calories. Most days I come in under that, usually by about a hundred calories or so. I also record my exercise, and that removes calories eaten from the day, allowing me to eat a little more if I want. I don't usually re-eat these calories, but it does happen sometimes. There has been only one day where the number of calories I actually ate was seriously outclassed by the number of calories I burned, and that was my birthday. All the walking at the zoo consumed almost all of the calories I had eaten for the day. If there had been cake, I could have had some and remained in the calorie happy zone. Heck, I had fried chicken (Katsu) for dinner and I was still golden. Exercise 1, Food 0. Bwahaha.


This week will hopefully resemble 2 weeks ago, with exercise everyday in the later half of the week. The rule to win is 6 single servings worth of exercise. I need to keep that up for at least 2 more weeks to make it habitual.

Sample Society - July 2012

About the middle of June I signed up for a new service from beautybar.com called Sample Society. It costs $15 a month, and they send you large sample sizes of luxury beauty products. I decided to sign up for it because while I don't often wear a lot of makeup or bother with the massive beauty routine, I do find it interesting and at least a somewhat worthwhile endeavor.

Most of my problems with beauty products are found with the pricing of the quality goods. Some moisturizers can be over $200! I think that's ridiculous. But, at the same time, many products cost more around $40 or $50 dollars, and while still out of my budget, they cost that much because they are high quality. I would never usually even try these products, partly because I dislike hanging out in beauty stores, and partly because I know that if I went into a store to try, they'd want me to buy. Sample Society provides me a way to try the quality products, and gives me a discount if I decide to buy. For $15 dollars a month I get samples of products that cost up to $250 for a full size bottle. I would never even touch that stuff otherwise. It's a great deal!

So, I have decided that as I get these each month, I will write a blog entry about what I got. I have a feeling that a lot of my readers (ie my friends) won't be particularly interested in these posts, so I'm going to post them quietly, without the usual fanfare. I will tag all of these posts "Sample Society" so that those of you who do want to read them can find them easily. In the end, I have chosen that these belong on this blog because this is my life blog and this is something that I find fun. It's also a little bit about taking care of myself, and so it belongs here. I am aware that beauty products/ makeup are not necessary to be beautiful and I do not feel that I particularly need them. I do, however, find them entertaining and interesting. I consider beauty products a bit of a hobby interest, and this is the best way I have found to truly investigate them.

                                                                                                                                                                          


Sample Society - July 2012

This is my first box. I was impressed at the care taken with the packaging. It makes me happy that this is how they have it set up. Totally worth $15, I feel like a princess!

In the box:

Borghese Tono Body Cream -


Have you ever tried a quality body lotion? The kind that goes on nearly dry? This is like that. Thick and creamy, yet extremely light on the skin and dry to the touch once applied. It also has a very nice, light, unobtrusive smell. Herby and fresh, I would call it. I have only used it one night so far, but the description claims it is also skin-tone smoothing and firming. I'll have to let you know on that one, since I have no idea what either of those things really means. 


Jouer Cosmetics Luminizing Moisture Tint SPF 20 -

This stuff is amazing. I'm wearing it right now and I can't even tell. I've used moisture tints before (I prefer them over hardcore foundations) and this one is extremely nice. It smooths out skin tone and complexion as well as texture. The luminescence helps a lot to keep my face looking bright. I especially like how I could use it as a concealer as well as an all over the face makeup. Plus, it's got SPF, which is extra awesome. Only problem is that on well balanced moisturized skin like mine, it comes out a bit oily shiny, but that's easily resolved with a mineral powder (I use bare essentials, left over from a real makeup kit I got years ago). Other than that, it's really light, comfortable, and serves it's purpose extremely well. And I can see my freckles through it. Win. It also lasts! Hardly ever before have I had a makeup actually stay on all day. Admittedly I think I've gotten a bit better about touching my face and such, but regardless this stuff stays. Another plus! I'm seriously contemplating buying this. We'll see how I feel when I run out of it. 

Sisley-Paris Hydra Globa Intense Anti-Aging Hydration -

This is the stuff that costs $250 for a regular sized bottle. I know right?? It's made in France, so I suppose that may be part of it. This is one of those things I'm going to have to get back to you about. It's a morning and night face and neck moisturizer/ skin firming agent. It's supposed to get rid of wrinkles and such like. Now, being 22 (almost 23) I don't really have wrinkles, but generally speaking, the recommendation is that you start with this stuff as early as possible. So, I figured what the heck, maybe I'll start looking 17. Ha, that'd be silly. Anyway, so I'm going to use this until I run out (will probably be about a month) and I'll let you know if I see any difference. 

vbeauté Eye Never Nourishing Repair Eye Creme -

I don't have very much experience in eye cream (read: none whatsoever), but when I got a facial in March (I was on vacation) the woman who did it said that I should look into it before I technically needed it. So, when I saw that I got some eye cream I was sort of intrigued. Again, this is one of those things that a couple uses isn't going to reveal how much it helps, but I have found that it goes on nicely and does do some eye brightening on its own. Maybe my eye-skin just needed some love. We'll see I guess.

Vincent Longo Vincent Longo Duo Lip Pencil -

So, this is essentially the full sized product. That would be super super awesome.... if I wore lip anything and ALSO if it were in a color that works for me. I don't wear lip anything (most of the time) and the color is much too purple. It's sort of a bright burgundy on one side and white on the other. I don't know what you'd use a white lip pencil for. Then again, I hardly understand the purpose of a lip pencil anyway. I wish this were eyeliner. Much more useful. 




So there's what I got. The only item I am seriously considering purchase of is the Luminizing Moisture Tint, and at a starting price of $38 and with my $15 discount it would only be $23, which really isn't bad, all things considered. I'm excited for next month's box!

I did it!

Time for a Monday morning status update and a new challenge!

Exercise Status
I came pretty close to not making it last night. I almost didn't do the aerobics. I had been reading, and it was later than I wanted. BUT I DID IT ANYWAY.

My exercise from last week looks like this:
Monday: lazy
Tuesday: lazy
Wednesday: 10 minute aerobics
Thursday: 35 minute walk
Friday: lazy/ exhausted
Saturday: 1 hour walk
Sunday: 20 minute aerobics (doubled up to make up for Friday)

Therefore! Success!! +10 dollars! 30 total now. Wooo. 2 more weeks!

Anyway, challenge for this week: Keep it up!

I don't know how busy I will be later in the week (no one plans these things specifically until they actually happen) so for now I will say exercise the equivalent of 6 single servings (10 minute aerobics/ half an hour walks).

Motivation Status


 Medium to high.

I weighed myself again on Saturday (I think) and afterwards I wanted to throw the scale off my balcony. Perhaps I should have.

My weight has gone up again, despite all my exercising.

Despite is perhaps not the right word. It's gone up because of my exercising. I am gaining muscle weight, which is, in the end, a good thing. But right now, it just makes the numbers go up infuriatingly. So how is it that the numbers on the scale are in fact acting as motivation instead of demotivation? I am very near a number I absolutely do not want to cross. In fact, I am so near to it that I am worried I have crossed it when I wasn't paying attention. Not happy! So, my way of refuting this is to press on with the exercise until the muscles are built and reinforced so that they can start eating the pounds instead of making it look like I ate them.

Food Status


I actually made a meal plan this week. I finally got some dry erase markers so I can write on my whiteboard, and thus I made it easier to write down what the meals we have on hand are. I went grocery shopping and spent more than I should have, though most of the cost was concentrated on the proteins (as is the usual). So when I'm buying a whole weeks worth of meals and restocking some essentials (frozen chicken, for example) things get a bit pricey. But it's alright, we have other food that we will eat next week, and I wont need to go shopping again until August.

The meal plan looks pretty tasty, and I'm excited to cook and eat it all. It's also not carb dependent in any way, I can make Jon the carbs and just leave them off of my plate. The carbs I have are also, for the most part (pasta excepted) healthy noms. Even the pasta isn't so bad, it's Eating Right's Veggie Pasta, which gives you a full serving of vegetables. So, I've been eating pretty well. Now if the weight would please just step off already.

On a related note, I have learned an absolute horror of dieting. Or rather I have deduced one from my own experience. Unless you choose to permanently change your diet to whatever it is (which is unwise for most diets, since they eliminate at least one food group and therefore deprive your body of nutrients), they are basically useless. You will gain back more than you lost, and end up weighing more in the end because of the diet you didnt keep.

I had a stable weight once. Then I went on diets. Now I weigh far more than I would have otherwise, because my body forgot how to balance itself. I'm not sure how to bring it back, though I am betting that the exercise will help more than a little bit. This whole thing has been quite a learning experience so far. I'm glad I decided to blog about it. 


Walking and good eating ahead!


We get our dining room table on Tuesday (finally, yay for surfaces!)


ALSO I TURN 23 ON SATURDAY WHAT IS THIS I AM OLD.


UPDATE: I just signed up for MyPlate - Livestrong.com's weight loss app/ web service. It's free (the app was $2.99 or free if you don't want the cloud connectivity). There's a badge for blogs but it's too wide to fit on here. I'm hoping that the daily reminder to actually do the tracking will help me monitor caloric/ nutrient intake. The reminder might get me going on the exercise front too!

Challenge Adjustments

My week did not go as planned. But instead of forfeiting another 10 dollars when I really did/ really plan to get a lot of exercise in, I am reassigning the challenges posed on Monday.

Original Challenge:


Walk 2 miles, 3 times.

New Challenge:


Walk for an hour and a half total. Do 10 minute aerobic exercise 3 times.

I have noticed that on my walks up at Lake Chabot, after about half a mile, I lose good GPS signal and Zombies, Run! get's confused about how far I've gone. Therefore any distances are incredibly unreliable. I know about where the mile line is on the trail now, so I will measure distance that way. But that is also not perfectly reliable, and so I have decided to rely more on time. I will always go for at least half an hour (because thats as long as the Zombies missions are) on long days I will go for an hour. 

Lake Chabot on Thursday night

So, I have managed to go once this week, last night. It was a pretty nice walk. I enjoyed it, though I wish I had been able to muster up the motivation to go more this week. I had originally intended to go Monday, then I intended to go Tuesday, then Wednesday.... it didn't happen until Thursday. But! I did exercise Wednesday night.

Forever ago, Kira recommended 10 minute workouts on Netflix. I did the Yoga one a few times back in January and enjoyed it. I hadn't really returned to them since. I decided on Wednesday, because there were things going on and I didn't have enough time to go on a walk, that I should try another of those 10 minute programs. I set up the 10 minute Carb Crush or whatever it's called. It's a set of fast paced aerobic workouts designed to burn calories, particularly those from carbs (though I think that part's nonsense). It was a good workout. I was coated in sweat and tired afterwards. A good result for only 10 minutes. It wasn't a whole lot of effort (like going out and walking can sometimes be) and I feel I got about the same (maybe a bit less) out of it. I may also eventually be able to turn that into strength training.

And so, after realizing that going walking 3 times a week was a bit ambitious, I figured out a better plan. Most of my exercise has successfully occurred later in the week. Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays tend to be days I have no motivation to go exercise, because I have to spend all that motivation on chores or work. However, later in the week, I have motivation to spare. So, I have decided to make Monday and Tuesday my break days. The other days I will distribute walking and 10 minute aerobics, depending on how busy I am on any given week. This week I know I will have a lot of free time Saturday and Sunday, and so I have planned to go on a long walk Saturday, and to fill in all the other days with aerobics. If I manage it all, I have still succeeded for the week and I get the 10 dollars.

I have started rethinking what I will spend the money on. I read somewhere a few days ago (another blog I think) that a good way to keep yourself motivated to exercise is to reward yourself with workout clothes or items. When I reach $50, I will go buy some light training weights and a workout shirt. The goal after that will be new running shoes. Every 5 weeks of successful workout, I will give myself something to make my workouts more successful. I hope this will work!